When you're famous, every single word you say should be carved into marble and preserved for generations; but when you're half-famous and barely recognisable, most things you say sound like the twerpings of a lonely pensioner – just ask Sienna Miller.
Sienna Miller. Think hard, you know who Sienna Miller is. She was in Layer Cake for eight seconds and Alfie for 14 seconds, remember? Oh, and she was Jude Law's girlfriend when he started banging the help. But even though Sienna Miller is approximately a million times more famous for sort of going out with the balding bloke from The Holiday than she is for doing a job – and is still far less famous than Howard from the Halifax advert – Sienna Miller still clearly has her eyes on the Voice Of A Generation prize, and has decided to tell Tatler all sorts of lazy, barely-conceived generalisations in the hope that it makes her look either clever or deep. It doesn't. For starters, Sienna Miller doesn't like reality TV because of, you know, what it does to, like, society. And stuff.
It's easy to laugh at Sienna Miller. It's easy to poke fun at the way that she stuck with Jude Law after he boffed the nanny. It's easy to mock the way that Jude Law and Sienna Miller kept splitting up and getting back together and splitting up every time they needed to publicise one of Jude Law's films. And – by god – it's easy to sneer at the way Sienna Miller is named after the wankiest colour in the paint tin. And sometimes we feel bad for taking easy potshots at Sienna Miller – like when we ridicule her use of long words to try and look clever or her manky toe – but then again, she does keep putting it on a plate for us.
There should be some kind of law against actors saying important things. You see, an actor is basically paid to dress up in someone else's clothes and memorise a bunch of words that other people want them to say. Any time that an actor says something cool or profound in a movie, it's because they just read it on a piece of paper a couple of seconds before. But, outside of the movies, your average actor is roughly as eloquent as a three-year-old that just drank an entire bottle of Tixylix. Exhibit A is Lindsay Lohan. Sure, she can make riding around in a magical car look convincing, but let her loose away from a script and she'll ramble on about how she wants to go and shoot Iraqis or how she's always been politically involved despite being an obnoxious party girl most of the time.
Exhibit B, and the newest entry into the Celebrity Hall Of Actresses Who Talk Shit And Thinks It Makes Them Look Clever, is Sienna Miller. Very soon we'll be seeing Sienna Miller in the movie Factory Girl – or at least we would if Factory Girl didn't look like a giant bag of shit – and to publicise it, Sienna Miller has been talking to Tatler magazine about whatever ambient thoughts happened to drift into her brain. For instance, Sienna Miller doesn't like reality TV shows. Not because most people would rather watch Alan Sugar bellowing at a crying girl than any Sienna Miller film ever, but because of the way reality TV sort of possibly hurts society and whatever:
"What's really disturbing is the way they psychologically play with people in there, they're guinea pigs. And we're sitting watching these people just losing it, losing their minds, locked in a small space – it's driving them to lunacy and we're all sitting there, getting off on it… I think society has got to a really scary place."
But Sienna Miller doesn't stop there – reality TV is just an annoyance. Sienna Miller also cares deeply about the environment and wars and stuff too:
"In a hundred years, the planet will be dead because of global warming, if we don't do something now. We talk about having children, and I'm desperate to have children, but I don't want to leave my children with this world. I'd feel irresponsible bringing children into a world that we're destroying. I don't want to pay 40 per cent tax to buy arms to kill innocent people in Iraq for absolutely no fucking reason apart from oil".
So, in summary, Sienna Miller wants to save the world and stop wars because it means she has to give the government too much of the money she earnt by wearing too much eye makeup and talking in a nondescript foreign accent for a few weeks in taxes. If she'd have just said that in the first place…
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kristin says
who is this idiot writing those hateful “articals”. You seriously need to get a life.
Ggg says
Utter rubbish. Whoever wrote this should be ashamed of themselves.
Gabrielle says
To person typing out this bitter hogwash, it is just so unpleasant reading your articles. I wonder, do you get paid for writing this bile?
I hope that one day, when you are sitting in your foul smelling, damp little flat, it comes to you like a great gleaming bolt of lightning that you, sir/madam, are a massive toss.
Suzy says
So she doesn’t like the way reality stars get manipulated. Where is the quote where she hates on them as people? Headline was deceptive. F@ck you!