A man purported to be Tyra Banks' stalker has been freed by police a day after getting arrested – but don't worry, because he sounds a bit crap.
Brady Green is accused of constantly leaving phone messages for Tyra Banks, sending her flowers and letters and turning up at her TV studio unannounced. Which, you know, is hardly sending her dildos or drawing threatening cartoons of her.
Worryingly, though, Brady Green is back on the streets after police charged and released him. Obviously the sensible thing would have been to lock him away in a nuthouse because, seriously, we didn't think anyone liked Tyra Banks at all, let alone enough to actually follow her around and stuff.
There's a fine line between being a fan of a celebrity and being a stalker. Ask for an autograph and you're a fan, but ask for a cheek swab so you can try and create little genetic replications of them and suddenly you're a stalker. If you send fanmail you're a fan, but seal the envelope with jizz and you're a stalker. Two lessons we won't be making again, and we'd like to take this chance once again to apologise wholeheartedly to Shakira.
Sometimes a stalker is quite clearly defined, like when they send you boxes of dildos or try to explode airports in your name, but what if someone just sends a few letters and bunches of flowers and phones you a bit and follows you around with a big bag full of magazine clippings of you and letters to themselves chronicling all the various unsuccessful times they've tried to contact you? Does that make them a stalker?
Apparently it does, because that's what one Tyra Banks fan has been doing and he got himself arrested for it, as E! Online reports:
A Georgia man accused of stalking the supermodel chat-show host was arrested last Tuesday after paying multiple unwanted visits to the New York studio that houses Banks' show… Cops were called to the studio and escorted Green off the premises; however, Green was spotted back outside the studio just three hours later. Cops once again returned to the scene, this time making the arrest. Green, who according to the New York Post first told police he was homeless, was charged with two counts of stalking, harassment and criminal trespass. He pleaded not guilty to all three charges in Manhattan Criminal Court the following day and was subsequently released by the judge on his own recognizance.
And it looks like Brady Green's days of stalking Tyra Banks are over, because he'd been hit with an interim restraining order to keep him away from her until his case comes up. And he wouldn't want to get in trouble.
We're no experts but, having watched Tyra's eccentric crackpot style of hosting of America's Next Top Model, we can't for the life of us work out why anyone would want to stalk her – unless of course they're conducting a scientific experiment to see what happens when someone as weird as Tyra Banks comes face to face with someone as weird as someone who'd want to stalk Tyra Banks. If that's the case, it's a good job Tyra and Brady never met – it'd probably open some hellish space/time wormhole that'd destroy the world or something.
Anyway, Brady Green didn't deserve to meet Tyra Banks because he obviously went about stalking Tyra Banks all wrong. Flowers and letters are for idiots – if you want Tyra Banks to like you, you just need to tell her that you don't think she's very fat. Forget meeting her, she'll probably want to get married to you after that.
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the Real Milton says
wow is that stupid…
Seriously what is wrong with this guy? Tyra is so completely dreadful, there is no excuse for someone to care that much about her to stalk her.
The guy seriously should be locked up as he clearly has major issues…