In the space of seven days we’ve seen Vanessa Hudgens naked and Miley Cyrus poledancing. That’s sexy. Or uncomfortably creepy.

Let’s go with creepy. But this disturbing tweeny flesh parade isn’t over yet. Now Ashley Greene – who plays Alice in the Twilight movies – has become the latest celebrity to find naked pictures of herself dumped onto the internet. Honestly, some people will do anything to get noticed by Robert Pattinson.

The naked photos have horrified Ashley Greene. Her naked body is sacred, and only for the people who’ll watch the crappy thrillers she’ll make once her career goes tits up.

Finally. Anyone who’s been keeping an eye on the New Moon production will have noticed that it’s mainly a film about almost naked men. There’s the topless New Moon Wolf Pack, plus Taylor Lautner pops his nipples out in the New Moon trailer and even Robert Pattinson takes his top off, despite the fact that it makes him look like a convalescing patient who’s been struck down by consumption.

What’s missing? Good old fashioned female nudity, that’s what. But since the main females in New Moon are played by Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning and that ginger girl who nobody had heard of until she was sacked, that wasn’t a very appealing prospect. But just because Twilight law forbids any onscreen female nudity, it doesn’t mean that the Twilight actresses can’t get nude at home and plaster naked photos of themselves all over the internet. Which brings us to Ashley Greene.

Or, as she’ll now forever be known, Naked Ashley Greene. Naked Ashley Greene has become the latest celebrity – following hot on the heels of Naked Vanessa Hudgens – to see nude pictures of herself leaked onto the internet. And there’s good news and bad news about the Naked Ashely Greene photos, too. The good news is that Ashley is 22 years old, so if you find her naked photos online you’ll only feel like a grubby pervert for looking at them instead of feeling like an awful paedophile like you did when you saw the Vanessa Hudgens photos.

The bad news is that Ashley Greene and her lawyers will sue you to kingdom come if you publish them on the internet, as The Sun reports:

In a bid to stop the candid snaps, which feature one full frontal photograph, from spreading, the furious star’s lawyer is warning websites against posting the pictures. A statement from her legal representative reads: “The photos in question, which appear to be of our client, are illegal and are being unlawfully displayed. Our client intends to take legal action.”

No wonder Ashley Greene is so jumpy – given Summit’s history of replacing Twilight actors for any number of spurious reasons, she must be fearing for her job at the moment. But if that happens, Ashley shouldn’t worry – her naked pictures have given her the perfect opportunity to star in any number of pornographic Twilight spin-off films. For instance, the porn version of New Moon could be called, um… actually New Moon already sounds quite porny. Alright then, the porn version of Eclipse could be called… wait, again, that already sort of sounds quite rude too.

OK then, Breaking Dawn. Oh, that’s just filthy. We give up.

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