After Catherine Hardwicke left Twilight 2 for whatever reason, its studio needed to think extremely carefully about her replacement.
After all, the Twilight 2 director would need to be adept at dealing with teenagers, understanding the romantic pull of the source text and – most importantly – be able to follow the lead of the first movie by creating an expansive fantasy book adaptation that ends up as a horribly unintelligible mess that nobody could ever genuinely be proud of.
And that’s why the director of Twilight 2 has been announced as Chris Weitz, the director of The Golden Compass. Clever move, movie studio, clever move.
Everyone was a little bit stunned when it was announced that Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke wasn’t going to direct Twilight 2, not least Catherine Hardwicke herself, we’d imagine. Nobody knows for sure why Hardwicke was moved off the Twilight sequel, but it appears that it could be one of the following:
1 – Catherine Hardwicke wanted some preparation time for Twilight 2 and the studio just wanted it pumped out as quickly as possible before the fad blows over.
2 – The success of Twilight sent Catherine Hardwicke into the raging depths of egomania, and she refused to direct the sequel unless she was taken to and from the set in a golden Cinderella carriage and the movie was renamed Catherine Hardwicke’s Twilight 2.
3 – Catherine Hardwicke has breasts and a vagina, which is generally looked down upon in Hollywood.
But, for whatever reason, it left an empty director’s chair on the Twilight 2 set, and one that needed to be filled before someone else decided to adapt a wishy-washy conservative doctrine disguised as a teenage fantasy epic into a movie and stole its glory. And that meant that Twilight‘s studio Summit Entertainment couldn’t dilly-dally.
It had to pick a new director fast. Any director. Even if that director had recently made a notoriously bad movie adaptation of a famous children’s fantasy book and was therefore probably the least qualified movie director on the face of the planet to take it on. Which is just as well, because it’s picked Chris Weitz to direct Twilight 2, and he directed The Golden Compass, for God’s sake. The Hollywood Reporter reports:
Chris Weitz has been tapped to helm “New Moon,” the sequel to Summit Entertainment’s vampire breakout “Twilight.” [Stephenie] Meyer penned a letter that sought to calm fans nervous about the midstream switch. “I’m sad that Catherine is not continuing on with us for ‘New Moon,’ she wrote in a letter on her Web site, but then noted that, with Weitz: “Torches and pitchforks aren’t going to be necessary.”
Oh come on, Stephanie Meyer, all this public hand-wringing really isn’t necessary – you know as well as we do that Twilight 2 could be about nothing more than Robert Pattinson trimming his nasal hair and all your ridiculous female 14-year-old fans would scream themselves hoarse and lose all control of their bladders by the middle of the first act.
Anyway, even though he’s the director of a notoriously underperforming children’s fantasy book, we’re positive that Chris Weitz will be a perfect director for Twilight 2. Having co-directed American Pie with his brother, Chris Weitz knows teenagers inside out, and therefore there’s bound to be a scene of Kirsten Stewart whacking herself off with a musical instrument in it somewhere.
And Chris Weitz will obviously get the most out of Twilight 2‘s young cast – especially Robert Pattinson. Weitz has worked with Nicole Kidman, remember, so he’s well-experienced when it comes to directing charisma-free actors who only have one facial expression but are still somehow bewilderingly thought of as attractive.
Most of all, though, we can totally see the logic in letting Chris Weitz direct Twilight 2. Look at it this way – if he can take a children’s book that’s actually quite good and turn it into a pointless car-crash of a movie that everyone hates, then he should be able to take a rubbishy car-crash book and turn it into something quite good.
That’s how it works, right?
Stabby McGee says
Uh, excuse me, Stuart? I don’t think you quite got the hint after the last Twilight article:
“This so-called wannabe writer is obviously an idiot. I rest my case.”
She RESTS her CASE! SHE rests HER case!
The CASE is rested!
You so-called wannabe, you.
Andrew says
For the last time, the movie is called “New Moon” not “Twilight 2”. Your quoted source had it right, you should try and get it right too.
Shooty* says
LAST time? Really? ONLY time? Yes.
Chris Weitz…. doesn’t he play xylophone in Falloutboy?
ann says
its no twilight 2, its new moon people!!!! there’s no such thing as twilight 2!!!!!!!!!!
Stabby McGee says
What the fuck is with these pedantic basement-dwellers crawling out of the woodwork? Nobody gives a shit, nerdstrom.
Shooty* says
Well said, Farnsworth.
But don’t act all surprised: we both love the basement dwellers really ;)
ashlyn says
i think Catherine Hardwicke should still make the second movie because it was really really really good and i’ve never seen a better movie in my whole life. but the second movie will hopfully be good even though Chris Weitz is going to be the new director.
You are a loser says
Oh I’m sorry, Can you do better?
Can you earn 153 million directing a movie?
hahaha. No.
So before you insult others, keep in mind, if you made a movie, it would make approximately around $2.00
So go do that Stuart! Maybe it will be slightly more productive then what you are doing now.
Bella says
look first of all its New moon not Twilight 2 coz that would be stupid who would name a book twilight 2 gosh!!
second as a true twilight fan i know after long before the movie haing read twilight that the movie was accully reallly bad so hopefully with the new director Chris Weitz (who is not in fall out boy thats Wentz ppl) it will be a hell of alot better because all the movies he has done have been hits such as: mr. and mrs. Smith
thank you.
Bella says
soz bout the mastaces people i ment *having
lolnerdstorm says
“Can you earn 153 million directing a movie?”
Slap a name of something famous on there and people will see it out of curiosity, and relation to the original -item-. So let ME direct “new moon” and i bet it’ll be a raving hit due to fangirls swarming the theatre.
Stephanie Meyer was terrible, she had no more than 2 facial expressions: Slightly disgusted with her top teeth showing, and a terrible attempt at being “shy” or basically a blank stare (try to prove me wrong)
I will say Robert Pattinson has potential but still needs to take a step back and realize his situation.
If the only point you can argue is the name of the next movie is then you shouldn’t waste time even posting.
Oh by the way, the rest of the cast was excellent, especially loved jasper (who mystified me) and alice.
Nikki says
women don’t whack off….
Hayley May says
Like I’ve said before, don’t piss them off!!! Remember the other post??? That’s right, I just went there…
Oh and just for the record, IT’S “NEW MOON” IDIOT!!! Thank you…