TV Review - The World’s Biggest Penis, Channel Four
Then buzz it up
February 2nd, 2006 at 14:00 by 586 MEDIA
Head shot. The man’s name is Jonah Falcon. There’s no denying that Jonah is blessed with a beautiful name. But - sweet shitting crikey - it’s his behemoth phallus that grabs the plaudits. A farmer apparently told him he was "built like a mule." Welcome to The World’s Biggest Penis, shown last night on Channel Four.
Fact fans will be interested to note that your average penis is six inches long when, ahem, full of blood. Jonah’s is 13-and-a-half inches. Nearly double. It’s no joke to imagine being clubbed to death by it. There are smaller salmon. Obviously, a man with a massive thing like that isn’t going to be shy about it (who wouldn’t be?), and when it is unleashed on camera… well, it’s enough to scare a police horse. Probably make it quite jealous too.
It’s so long that Jonah can wrap it around his hand a couple of times. This just isn’t right. He could do back-stroke and - no doubt - there would be a few Cock Ness Monster gags flying about. You see, Jonah has the World’s Biggest Penis. Sure enough, he’s made his money from it (although not in skin flicks) and subsequently, craves the attention that it has obviously brought from both men and women alike.
Jonah is not alone. The World’s Biggest Penis cuts to Dan. Dan lives in Los Angeles. The
narrator tells us he’s an "intelligent man, but would like to remain
anonymous." Dan pipes up with “women, like, uh, see it, like, uh, like
a superhuman type of, uh, superpower, like uh, yeah, a super type
thing.” Now think on. This kid is intelligent.
Dan spends his time on an Internet forum – the ‘Large Penis Support
Group’ – to share his problems with other women, and hopefully meet
women who call themselves ‘size queens’. We can now assume that any women who took
an interest in this article have now disappeared and logged on to the
support group website. Sure they’ve gone, but they’ll be back. Doubled
up in agony. During The World’s Biggest Penis one man, obviously with an incredible wang, referred to
relations with his partner as “a brutal and strenuous act of
affection.” The lady in question nodded in agreement, and told a tale or
two about the logistics of her and her partners bedroom habits. Having
one up the bum-bum in the shower et cetera.
One thing that is obvious from The World’s Biggest Penis is the affect that having a big’un
tends to overshadow your personality. That it isn’t really the blessing that
you’d think.
Going back to Jonah, he seemed like a nice enough guy. Self-analysing,
and self-deprecating. However, without his phallus, he doesn’t get a
second look. So, he’s taken to (occasionally) wearing tight gold lame
trousers to show off his alien appendage. One thing you’ve learnt is
that having a gigantic old chap doesn’t buy you taste.
As ever, The World’s Biggest Penis was one of those broadcasts that was frequented by the odd
expert or social commentator – namely some seldom heard-of writer.
These talking heads pop up and deliver profound insights into the
staggeringly obvious, like:
“It would appear that having a large penis is not good at times”.
Thanks for that.
Next we met Steed. Steed, other than being yet another person blessed
with a superb name, is from California. Steed and his bruised banana -
a bloody great big bruised banana – is well known on the gay scene in
the west coast. Steed told us that his member actively affected his
choice of sexuality. Men are better equipped to deal with one of these
monstrosities than women. Women get hurt. The back door presumably has
miles of intestines to work with. All said, Steed is a reasonably
sombre character who spends his time "fulfilling other people’s
destiny" on various websites. Rig up the web-cam, show off your wares
and make someone very very happy. This obviously is not satisfying for
Steed. Satisfaction seems to be a thing he lacks, and when talking
about his sex life, he approaches it from a mathematical angle.
Understandable considering.
By the time we got to Omar from Nottingham, the novelty was wearing a
little thin. What does prick up your ears, though, is the news that his phallus was being given a dubious honour. It will be immortalised. By taking a
cast of it, a company will fashion a sex toy from it.
Again, Omar seemed like a pretty stand up fella when he spoke of the
problems he’s faced and how a cock like his can pose problems. Maybe it
is difficult to imagine these guys as nice chaps when your machismo
immediately assumes they’ll be natural born show-offs. Omar was
certainly not. He was under no illusion why he had gone from being a bit
part in The Bill and Only Fools And Horses to being a very well paid
actor in adult films.
Much like the dick on show here, The World’s Biggest Penis goes on for far too
long. In fact, the viewer probably ended up feeling like an unsuspecting lady. In
pain and a bit bored. Like the viewer, the novelty seemed to have worn thin
with the owners of these men of silly girth and length. They are men
who are constantly trying to redefine themselves. It is obviously
difficult in the ample sundial shadow of your all walking, talking
penis. So the only thing left? Get it out and smile. As stated before,
who wouldn’t?
Read more:
The World’s Biggest Penis - Channel Four
[story by Mof Gimmers]
Related and recent:
- You Need The Mof Gimmers Podcast In Your Life
- Britney Spears In Truly Newsworthy Car Accident
- SLACKERJACK - Wonderland Secret Worlds
- SLACKERJACK - Bugatron Worlds
- SLACKERJACK - Clash N Slash Worlds Away
- Tom Cruise in War Of The Worlds - Review Digest
- Hanna Montana Tops Weekend Box Office… In 3D!
- Tom Cruise Leads War Of The Worlds To Box Office Gold
February 3rd, 2006 at 2:14 pm
SEX BLOG:: Now That’s What I Call A Big Cock!!
Wow, did anyone happen to see Britain’s Channel 4 program on Jonah Falcon? That man has the World’s Largest Penis!! …
February 8th, 2006 at 10:10 pm
I wonder why all the programs are about male attributes, when will they make a show about the biggest vaginas and actually show it opened wide or the logest vaginal lips, biggest clitoris, etc. All male all the time, you get fed up we women also have something below the belt.
February 9th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
Well said jennifer. TV always seems to show the male genitalia these days, ive seen many shows on the size of mens bits….but not womens. Also, tv programes will show mens erect penises but never show a woman with her legs open…..why the hell not…reverse sexism is to blame here!
February 12th, 2006 at 9:03 am
ay wutz up i am 17 and i have a 7 inch dick is that big or small 4 my age
February 20th, 2006 at 11:27 am
Love his big cock
February 25th, 2006 at 3:31 pm
i am 12 and have a 7 inch penis is that small for my age and could you please send me the average penis size for my age
March 1st, 2006 at 7:41 pm
…joe ur a bit over average…but if i were u i woudlnt b that proud cuz im 14 and im a half inche biger…
March 4th, 2006 at 4:48 pm
im 9 and i have a 17inch penis on the flop my friends laughed at me and sed that its too small and im just wonderin wot the average is for my age
March 7th, 2006 at 2:44 am
oi an average dick is 5.5inch - 6.5inch….oi it doesnt matter anyway size doesnt matter its the way u you’s it… cause if u have a 20inch that doesnt mean u can give a women a orgasm
March 17th, 2006 at 5:55 am
I like to win bets with my penis. When I’m in the bar, somebody usually brings up penis size at some point and I say “I like to scrape fifty cent pieces off the table with mine.” I get funny looks and they say “yeah right.” Then we go to the back room and I put twelve fifty cent pieces on the table, get my dick hard and scrape them off onto the floor. It is an attention getter for sure.
March 21st, 2006 at 3:53 am
Is there any big dicks left in the south that arent gay or married?
March 25th, 2006 at 11:54 pm
I am 14 and i have a 16-17 inch cock i love having a dick that big!
people can say that big is not always better but i think it is!
not all of it is natural, i did use a pump otherwise i would be like a 9-10. i have made so many girls scream its funny! every body at my school says there’sare bigger than everyone else’s and when i get a chance to show them they just automaticly quit saying theres the biggest! If you have MSN and you would like to add me feel welcome my email address is tlcdjservices@hotmail.com
April 14th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
I too have a big penis no, i am an italian man living in napoli and i have got a 36 inch penis yes, it is a medical condition okay and every time i get an erection i pass out because soo much blood goes to it my penis. My testicles are very small like two grapes and i just look stupid like a man with a donkey and nowhere to go do you understand me yes? my wife say to me andreas your are such big man i cannot handle you living in my house, once she had to go to hopsital because of not when we had intercourse but when she tripped over it, i was asleep on the couch and she walked over to turn off the TV and BANG she was on the floor. i have soo many worries about my penis size, my doctor just laughs at me and says i wish i was like you but now i feel like a freak and dont like who i am. please help me i cannot go on
April 22nd, 2006 at 2:15 pm
This post sure did get some attention to those Cock Lovers out there.. or those who’s proud of their large and long penis.. hmm.. interesting though. Moderation is still the best I’d say.. not too big, not too small.. and not too long.. you might just cause cervical incompetence through banging and thrusting too deep..Good luck though..
April 24th, 2006 at 7:54 am
I am 13 years old and have a 3 inch penis, is this large for a boy of this age?
May 3rd, 2006 at 9:24 pm
I have just turned 11 and my dick is 10.5 inches (folded in half).
Is that too big or too small for boy of my age?
Sometimes I have to tuck it in my sock but if I get a boner it raises my right leg up in the air and I look like Chuck Norris doing a roundhouse kick.
May 8th, 2006 at 5:56 pm
lmao - Funniest. Thread. Ever!
May 22nd, 2006 at 11:11 pm
I want abig cock and yet its defiantly small! Its so fuckin depressing!
May 24th, 2006 at 4:57 am
I have a 19 inch penis at 12 years of age..i want to enter a contest but…i dont know where…and my friends think i lie…PLEASE HELP ME
May 30th, 2006 at 12:32 pm
Hi im 84 and i i dont have a big enough ruler 2 mesure my dick.it can wrap round my neck and when i shove my cock up my wives ass my dick comes out her mouth.is this wrong?
May 31st, 2006 at 6:54 pm
I’m 35 and when limp, my penis is the size of a pea. But when I get horny it becomes the size of a single peanut.
I have to use a mirror to see it cos my belly gets in the way.
What’s the average size for a man of my age? Can someone please confirm?
June 1st, 2006 at 9:11 pm
Okay, all of you little kids who are 9-12 years old with a supposedly massive dude piston are LYING FUCKS!!!!! There is no way in hell that someone who isn’t even through puberty yet has one that big. QUIT LYING…YOU ARE REALLY GAY!!!
June 3rd, 2006 at 11:36 pm
Duh, you think?
June 29th, 2006 at 8:21 pm
Puberty starts at age 11
July 2nd, 2006 at 2:14 pm
I think the Spice girls should reform….. Stupid mel c
July 16th, 2006 at 1:02 am
screw you guys im going home
July 27th, 2006 at 12:38 am
Feh… you fellahs merely need to “pass the oral exam” to please a woman. They all like it, whether they’ve thought about it or not.
September 5th, 2006 at 9:38 am
Hi, I’m only 8 years old, and I have a 15 inch penis, AND IM A GIRL! is that wrong?
October 3rd, 2006 at 5:56 pm
if i ever get a pet blue whale, im gonna callit jonah.
October 18th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
Im a man of 22 and i actually wear a boot on the end of mine and perform at the circus. “there he is, Mr Tripod” they say
November 6th, 2006 at 12:40 pm
im 24 and i have 3 dicks on my hand and one fuckin stinks. help me
November 14th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
I’m a thirty-something married man who’s hung like a Texas stud bull. I like to call my johnson “Sam the Pirate,” but my wife just calls him “The Constrictor.” Lately, Sam has been talking to me at night. Does this happpen to anyone else out there? I’m afraid that I may be losing my mind. Please respond. It’s like this: I’m sleeping soundly, and then I hear the voice. “Fuck her,” he keeps saying. “Go on, just roll over on her and wake her up with a stab to the rafters.” I’m a sensitive guy, and can’t stand that kind of talk, but Sam keeps whispering “Fuck her, you boyscout. What are you, queer? Go on, bone the ham. Lay a floggin’ on her! You know she wants it.” Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat, and there’s Sam, staring me in the eye. “Bang her,” he orders. “Hose her down. What are you waiting for, you wimp?” It’s a nightmare! And it seems to be getting worse. Last night, Sam woke me up at 3am, throbbing. He was as angry as I’ve ever seen him. “Slam that trollop in the flap-hole, you sorry little pissant! Go on — give her a good pipe-cleaning!” Stop it, I pleaded in my mind, and even whispered “Stop this insanity” in a very low voice. “She’s a cheap strumpet,” Sam hissed. “An easy-riding gutterslut. Hammer the chippy, you satin-pantsed faggot! Hump that wanton floozy till she begs for mercy!” I mean, it was really frightening! “Plow the wench now, you candy-ass, or I’ll do it myself! Just look at her, sleeping with that smug smile, like a nun at Christmas. She’s no saint. She’s the Devil’s plaything, you bleeding-hearted choirboy. A hustler, a freak, a shameless tramp! She’s a latent stunt-beaver, you clueless asswipe — a harlot, a tart, a nymphomaniacal B-girl, and you just lie there like a whipped chicken! You’re pathetic! What do you think is lurking up that snapper, a bear trap? Fuck her, you pussy! FUCK HER!” I sat up and shouted, “Shut up, you sex-crazed cunt monkey! You don’t own me!!” My wife was suddenly awake and staring at me. “What’s the matter, honey? Bad dream?” I just rolled over with my back to her. “Oh, it’s nothing. Go back to sleep.” But Sam was still whispering, “You miserable wimp…. You limp-wristed gayboy….” Please, anybody, I need some input here…. Is this normal?
November 15th, 2006 at 4:23 am
You punks think you got big dicks, one time when I was 15 Steven Spielberg asked me to be the star of his upcoming thriller “GODZILLA -VS- MY DICK”
December 5th, 2006 at 1:23 pm
I’ve just been born. My penis is 23 and a half feet long.
December 7th, 2006 at 5:08 pm
You guys are SO RETARDED
December 8th, 2006 at 10:47 pm
You guys are all lucky….my penis is only 5 inches long but it’s 8 inches in diameter(that not a typo). It looks like I have a roast in my pants. I keep getting accused of shoplifting when i go to the mall.
December 30th, 2006 at 1:23 am
Today I was at a friends house and I went to the bathroom, his mum did not lock the door and I barged in by accident. His mum was taking a pee standing up, is this normal?
January 18th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
jesus christ, ive never seen such ridiculously sad posts in my life. “oh, im 12 years old and my penis are big”
what the f*ck? not only are none of these true, but its simply so friggen sad. get a life, ppl.
oh, just for the record, I AM A TWO MONTH OLD GIRL, WHO KILLED MY MUM WHILE I WAS IN HER STOMACH BY GETTING A 40 FOOT ERECTION!!! IS THAT NORMAL!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!!!!!???????
OH, AND THE OTHER DAY, I KNOCKED OUT MY FRIENDS BY GETTING AN ERECTION, IS THAT NORMAL?!?!??!??!
YEAH, AND TWO DAYS AGO I KILLED A WILD BEAR BY GETTING AN ERECTION, IS THAT NORMAL?!?!?!?!
I NEARLY FORGOT, I HAVE SEX WITH KIM JONG IL, EVEN THOUGH I LIVE ON THE LARGE-PENIS GALAXY, WHICH IS FAR FAR AWAY, BY GETTING A 10,000,000 LIGHT YEAR LONG ERECTION, IS THAT NORMAL!?!?!?!?!
January 19th, 2007 at 11:55 am
yes bj! yes it is! i thought i was the only one
February 18th, 2007 at 8:00 am
you people are sick i am gay
February 20th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
As far as im concerned you are all full of shit , im 43 yrs old and have a 7 and a half inche cock . but i do no one thing most women love and prefer a good strong orgasm useing my tongue , fallowed by some hard deep penertration…….. a word of advise get your head out of the clouds and listen to what a woman really wants thankyou .
March 2nd, 2007 at 11:42 pm
I am died and my penisis the ony fing tht hasnt rottedaway yet is this a sign tht i need to have sex as im a virgin still and also my dicks very rinkly and shrivled like a chip but its also sucked in and its the thinness of a pencil and as big as a pen lid i will giv a girl gr8 pleasure as they wont get hurt by my dick it may not reach inside her vergina its that small wot do i do t make this fing grow i luv my dick i cud eat it off but its a mega horny fing sumtimes it shoots out stuff wen i feel it for a while i lick it as its like milk wot is it and am i normal i luv all the men out ther.
March 4th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
i was born with three matching legs but then one sprouted huge balls when i was 7 years old and the doctors finally confirmed that it was actually my large penis and a Nike shoe was just stuck on the end of it. i was very relieved!
March 19th, 2007 at 7:16 am
I AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM GAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
April 9th, 2007 at 1:36 am
Omg roflmao lol! 34 cm’s that’s like 26 cm’s larger than my dick!
I wish i had a dick like yours… Btw, can u get an erection?!
How big is it when u got a hard on?
Dont you faint cause of all the blood loss from the rest of your body?
Best Regards, Poffe
April 10th, 2007 at 4:52 am
i have a 1 inch penis, and im a 34 yr old male. living with my mother.
is this normal?
sincerley
Nathan Dooley
April 13th, 2007 at 10:28 am
hello; i am looking for some advice. Please state your opinion. You may have heard about this on the news….unfortunately i am that marathon runner who was accused of cheating in NYC marathon a few years ago.
What had happened was that I was running in 2nd place just A few feet behind the 1st position runner. The finish line was about 100 feet away. I knew that i wasn’t gonna be able to beat this guy since i was completely out of everything that i had. As i was running i glanced up to my side and saw 2 extremely hot girls flashing their boobs. I immidiately had an erection. Now keep in mind that I was already close to the finish line, maybe about 5 feet away n the other guy was just about 2 feet ahead of me…..I don’t know if it was a blessing or curse but by having the erection I won that race first place. My penis had put me ahead of the guy. By the time i realized what had happened; my penis had already broke thru the finish line banner. This was not to happen, i never had anything like that in my mind. You know im not a cheater, i never cheat. but this was such an embarrassing situation…u will not believe me, i still get phone calls and letters from people calling me a cheater. Its not my fault that those girls were abusing the power of their milk factories. and that I was born n raised near a nuclear facility.
Please help, I need to have a clear mind so i can prepare for another upcoming marathon in BANGKOCK.
April 14th, 2007 at 1:05 am
i have a 7 incher
April 17th, 2007 at 6:14 pm
Send pictures please!
April 17th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
My penis is a prehensile little thing (only a 10 incher) when I wear a kilt, I can steal cream buns from the table at afternoon tea
April 19th, 2007 at 4:57 am
All i have to say is that no girl likes a penis too big or too small, and definitly not too long b/c u can seriously damage our insides and it hurts like a mother fucker.
April 23rd, 2007 at 3:37 am
the spice girls are dead.
April 23rd, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Funniest thread ever, i never have laughed so much in my whole life. “Tales from the dick crypt” were awesome.
April 24th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Look all you nuts out there…IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW LONG IT IS, BUT HOW THICK IT IS. Tell you what, once i inserted mine in an empty drum, and it got stuck. It had to be blown out using highly pressurised water-hass from the other side.
April 25th, 2007 at 1:30 am
IM GAY IM GAY I I IM GAY
May 14th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Crazy people.
June 11th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Well I would LOVE to be on this show b/cause I an 12 inches…. but I don’t have the girth that these guys do!
June 12th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
& nOW ladies & gentlemens THE BiGGEST
EVER!
http://www.yourfilehost.com/media.php?cat=video&file=humoron_webmaster_at_the_beach.wmv
June 23rd, 2007 at 6:08 am
dude im like the only CHICK on here but oh well…hello boys =] im 14 and my boyfriend has a 8incher =P….ok dudes even I know this the average when your hard is 6 (its very sad i know)…anyways a good thick girth and a good 6 inches is fine and will make the ladies forget about your size if it feels good…i promise they wont even care if you can give it to them like none other….i got a friend whoose ex bf was 8-9 inches when hard and he never made her cum once (shes older then i am btw)
July 11th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
I had a perfectly normal weiner until some of that black stuff from the Venom costume on the Spiderman 3 movie fell on my dick. Now it is 9 and a half feet long and can shoot sticky spider web jizz everywhere. It also has really sharp fangs and often bites me in the leg. Is this normal?
P.S. I just saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
July 15th, 2007 at 12:36 am
My penis is detachable and lights up like a beacan when erect, is this normal?
July 18th, 2007 at 4:29 am
My dick is so big, it has it’s own set of lungs and a heart……………is this normal?
July 22nd, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Hi, whenever I close my eyes…I get an erection…whenever I open them…it goes away !!! IS THAT NORMAL ???
August 15th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
my dick is the size and shape as a ferrari enzo, and can direct interface with the iphone. Is that normal?
August 16th, 2007 at 12:47 am
This remains the best comments section Hecklerspray has ever produced…
August 16th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
My dick has it’s own set of house keys it hides under the foreskin…should I be letting it crawl the streets on it’s own?
On Saturday mornings I play a round of golf with it, so far it is one stroke ahead.
On Sundays I go bike riding and it slaps drivers in the face as we ride by, is that bad?
August 16th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
lmfao what is wrong with you people.. ive never laughed so hard in my life
August 19th, 2007 at 1:08 am
is any one 4 real here this site is so funny iam going 2 use some of them in s show keep it up peps
August 21st, 2007 at 4:03 am
my dick is so big i resintly sued the huba buba tape comany for stealing the trademark saying for my dick. [ six feet of fun six feet of flavor ]
August 25th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Hey Im a girl…and i dated a guy for a year who had a teenie weenie….like the first time i was shocked….but i got over it….
When he was hard it was about 3-4 inches max, but when he wasnt hard…it was soo small (an inch max) …i thought he had no penis when i felt down ther. so guys its not thee most important thing….i lived with it…but now wer over i did go look for a tripod guy to give me a good hard bang.
August 26th, 2007 at 8:10 am
Im 11 years old and my dicks so big that when i get a boner my dick rips right through my pants. The other day in school i was sitting at my desk and i started thinking about what it would be like to fuck my teacher in the ass, then all of a sudden i got this explosive boner and it knocked the kid over sitting in front of me. Is this normal?
August 31st, 2007 at 11:27 pm
When my penis is soft, it’s 15 inches but when I’m hard it’s 1 inch. Is this normal?
September 1st, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Hello I’m 24 years old & have a very small man hood. Erect on a good its only 2″ & I cant make my boyfriend come. Is a enlargement a good idea?
September 6th, 2007 at 11:38 am
Hi, i am a new born waiting to be born.. im typing via satalite off my new comp in my mothers stomach my penis is like..
well picture a chubby 6 year olds arms but holding a football at the end of it.. yes exactly.. it has been said so many times on
here but i will have to quote it.. “IS THIS NORMAL”
September 16th, 2007 at 8:54 am
whats is the best way to enlarge my dick, does any body knows how to make it bigger.
September 17th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
IS THIS THREAD NORMAL????????????????????
September 18th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Is the WORLD normal?
*mysterious music*
September 19th, 2007 at 5:04 am
this site is F*CKIN HILARIOUS . . . . (Ferrari enzo)(light saber)(chuck norris)… is this normal, i have never laughed so hard
LMFAO
September 19th, 2007 at 10:40 am
MIne came out when I was on the stage in the west end one time, and blinded a pony in the eye.
I know thats normal. But is getting turned on by it normal?
September 21st, 2007 at 11:32 pm
My penis is bent at a 30 degree angle, and if I see a good looking girl at work, my dick gets hard and I keep switching on my emergency hazard lights on my keyring, or my remote ignition on my car turns on automatically. One time I had my girlfriends electronic keys in my pants pocket, saw a hot chick, and you guessed it, started her car and it started driving down the street by itself because I left it in 1st gear and Im running after it with a 30 degree 8 inch hardon running sideways laughing so hard that I wanted to cum and pee at the same time!
September 22nd, 2007 at 10:10 am
I think the average penis size has increased in the last 15-20 years due to the increased use of growth hormones in cows, which are passed on in their meat and milk. Kids are going into puberty at younger ages, too. I’ve heard that in the 1950s, typically puberty started at age 15 on average, but I don’t know how reliable those statistics are. My nephew had hair on his chest and belly by the time he was 12, and possibly younger.
September 24th, 2007 at 7:40 am
My dick looks like a long sword from the medevil ages, it hurts my feelings when people call me elephant cock and mayo jar and Rocket Ship and Donkey dick, i’am very sensitve about my unormaly over sized dick, whenever a girl pulls my pants down she says oh my god, and it irrtates me, last time i punched her in the fucking head and she said ooh baby thats the way i like it, so i cried miserably and left the room. i tried going out with a fat chick becuase i thought they’d have bigger holes, i swear to god i went out with a female version of jabba the hutt, and her pussy felt like a hole from a aquafina water bottle. what do i do im tired of people calling me King Dong and white boy that should be black it hurts my feelings alot. even my son said daddy why do you have a water hose in your pants. i thought about killing myself and slitting my wrist but when i cut my wrist no blood came out it was all in my dick and i failed miserably again. please help me what do i do can i have sex with rosey o donoald and maybe it will get smaller? please any ideas would be much appreciated.
September 26th, 2007 at 5:04 am
i m 27 and my penis is 6.5 but this is not straight after erecting this moves to one side after erection
September 26th, 2007 at 8:01 am
God no! Why won’t this thread die!? Back to the pits that spawned you!
September 28th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Im a girl and my last boyfreind had a 6 inch penis i dumped him the next day because it was so small i went and found myself a guy with a 9 inch bAZOONKA atleast 3 inches wide SO if i was really u i would try enlarge my penis if it is not above 7 inch because a girl wont want u if u dont do this commit suicide no joke like my ex cause when we were bout to fuck i told him his dick was small the next day he was found dead with a letter saying Sorry mum it wasnt ur fault.
October 2nd, 2007 at 10:03 am
My Boyfriend has a massive cock!! its about ten and a half inches long and maybe three inches thick,
i have never had sex like it in my life, it is so painful but hey, you know what they say no pain no gain!! it is amazing… there is really nothing like a really big cock before ya go to sleep:P…. but dont go killing yourself if your cock isnt big thats just silly!!! you can do other things to your Missus they aren’t all fucked in the head like this desmond bitch!
October 4th, 2007 at 2:35 am
my puss is that big i would take u all on lol lol funny site,had a good laugh thanks 2 all u little peanuts who have 2 lie about it,go and buy urself a big car lol
October 4th, 2007 at 11:19 am
i`m quite happy with my penis…………………………is this normal???
October 5th, 2007 at 1:16 am
My boyfreinds dick is real long but not very thick its wonderful wen we have sex but i mean its really thin is that normal?
October 7th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
My penis has its own brain and eyes, and seems to control everything I do. The fucker is about 10 inches, is this normal?
October 8th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
WTF is it with all the people asking is this normal……..btw i haven’t laughed like i just have in ages rofl lightsabre but this thread has gone downhill “my dick is 100 million light years long and i fucked obi wan kenobi and darth vader at the same time and made master yoda is this normal?” funny immature shit but people do need to grow up.
PS: To all of you’s who asked is this normal? ………….. no its not you all got serious problems u need to sort out!
PPS: Lol but you all made me laugh so hard.
October 10th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
when erect my penis gives a thick yellow discharge, dominoes offered me millions of dollars to use it for a new buffalo wing dipping sauce. is this normal?
October 10th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Hello i need some advice. I am planning to open a new yogurt brand because I’ve been told that my jizz looks like thick yogurt and is very indistinguishable. So there I go with my business plan.
What do you all think? is this normal? plus it will be the first yougurt of its kinda with protien and no fat contents at all.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:42 am
i’ve just taken the worlds largest dump!!!! also i enjoy sucking dick all day long.bong.kong.shlong.song. HELLO HELLO !!! YE YE YE !
October 16th, 2007 at 7:22 am
My dick farts……and its attached to my neck, is this normal?
October 17th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
NASA has recently asked me if they can hire out my dick as a bridge so they can walk to mars. Is this normal?
October 19th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
I can tuck my dick in my bum. Is that normal?
November 8th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
im 14 and i got a 6.3 inches dick, is that small?
November 10th, 2007 at 1:05 am
my nob is so big i cant clean it. ive never seen my bell end and when i cum, it takes ages for the spunk to land on my head. Its like jack and the bean stalk. my wife has to climb to the top, and wash the cheese off. She says its tasty and i should let more women climb it.
November 11th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
Hi, my dick is 3 inches long and 7 inches in diameter. I may not get to the back, but i always tear the sides up. I got 1 question, IS THIS NORMAL?
November 18th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
hi, im nearly 17 and my penis is so big that i have to have a wank every hour otherwise they will explode. i personally dont think its that big compared to my mums but the doctors say it the biggest they have seen, its 19inches long and 21 inches thick is this normal
please tell me if this is normal, i am not lying i can drill through a tree with it and its cum is like acid it rots pussy
November 19th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
i have a 26 inches and im 23 ……..is it normal?
November 21st, 2007 at 9:46 pm
Well, I’m 30, and I’m very modest 7″ (compared to you tools). BUT, anyone with a REAL big wanker, feel free to contact me.
November 21st, 2007 at 9:47 pm
my penis is so big that i have to have extra skin added to my forskin coz it rips wen i get a erection can someone tell if i am the only one or do other peole have the same problem
IS THIS NORMAL…………?
November 26th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Hahaha! thats fascinating you a girl? with penis 15 inch? wao means u have got solution of both problems: u can put ur own penis in ur own fucky hole! hahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahha
November 27th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
I have quite a large penis, but, the other night I was chatting up a chick in a bar and she said “unless it’s 12 inches, then you can’t stick up may arse”.
I said “”fuck off, I’m not having 6 inches chopped off for anyone”…
November 27th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
By the way, is this normal??
December 4th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
HEllo, my penis is very thick and long… it doesn’t fit in any clothing. I tried visiting the store “big n tall” but all the pants and underwears, and shorts can’t seems to accomodate my tool.
so now i just wear robes everywhere….people make fun of me that i wear robes outside..they just dont understand why…. IS THIS NORMAL???
December 18th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Lies wont get any of you guys laid, and that other guy that CLAIMS to have a 15 inch penis and CLAIMS to be a girl, how do you think that would improve your sex life?
December 25th, 2007 at 10:46 pm
the spice girls are back, and their boobs are bigger than ever
December 29th, 2007 at 8:59 am
mine looks like a can of corn is that normal
December 31st, 2007 at 7:33 am
My penis is average in size, and both my girlfriend and myself are content with it.
Is this normal?
January 1st, 2008 at 7:16 pm
I think you are all extremely sad.. I feel soey for the people who are weird enough to leave a really long 10line comment.. Sad Bastards.. Im only on here to take the mic..
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:11 am
I em 7 yaers old and i are a 36 inch peepee and are that normel? when it are hard it are 62 inhes thick and 326 inches long. normal?
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:29 am
HI IM ZACK AND IM 15 YEARS OF AGE AND MY COCK IS 8 INCHES LONG.IS THAT GOOD IN AN AVRAGE SCALE?
HEY ITS BIGGER IN TEXAS!!!
January 6th, 2008 at 9:02 am
hey there… i just want to know that I have 3 balls,,,,,,,,,is this normal?
second thing…. i was screwing a 40yr old lady and she sounded like if she was crying ….. was that normal?
thirdly…. I am about to take some pills to make my penis even bigger….is this normal????
January 8th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Whats is normal
eg bonning your sister with a dildo made of razor blades whilst your nan is shitting on here face. or being able to actually stretch your own cock inside you anus so as to bum yourself crazy
???????????????????????????
January 8th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
HEY
iM ADDICTED TO HEADBUTTING TURDS LAID OUT ON BUBBLE WRAP
IS THAT NORMAL
I WAS BORN WITH AND INVERTED PENIS DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE A VAGINA
January 17th, 2008 at 2:40 am
Hello cyber mutants, I’m the famous Jeremy Beadle off 90’s t.v. I’m now an onion farmer in Lincolnshire, U.K. I have a willy…….. On the one hand it’s tiny but on the other it’s FUCKIN’ MASSIVE you fucking cunts………. Fuck the internet, it was much better in the 80’s when everyone knew jack shit….. my wife took me for every red cent I had and shacked up with a 16 year old turk so ……….”BANG-BANG……………
Jeremy Beadle (1952-2008).
January 17th, 2008 at 2:49 am
hello, can you hear me? can you hear me now?? ok….. my willy is so big i have to live in a hot air balloon at 14,000 feet with my wife and 3 kids. morning wood is not good.
x -I just wanted t be the 1st person to leave a kiss.
January 21st, 2008 at 2:48 am
my penis looks like a can of tuna short and fat all bitches have walls with my fat dick is that normal
February 2nd, 2008 at 7:27 am
This was tremendously funny.
Is it abnormal?
February 6th, 2008 at 10:45 am
can the admin please kill this post now…..i beg you….kill it……it just keeps growing and growing………………….kill it.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Team Hecklerspray - are you proud that this has become the Thread That Will Not Die? I suppose it was inevitable given the title of the show being in the headline and all.
February 6th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Prouder than you’ll ever know
February 6th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Every morning after i wake up i burn my dick because it nearly touches the sun from morning wood. Is this normal?
February 10th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I have a 6″ penis, which is the normal size of an adult white person.
I’m 14
I don’t even have to ask if this is normal because i know it is.
February 12th, 2008 at 8:53 am
pee vagina
February 17th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Hey Im 16 and my willy is the shape of a donut!
Is this normal?
February 20th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
My dick is the same length as my legs. As it is the same length I have to buy a shoe for it when I go out.
Is this normal?
March 5th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Hi iyym 9 yehurz owld and mi pehnise is 17 inchuis lonng bekuzz iym a sthoophid khidd wiv now liyfhe.
March 5th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Hi my penis is so long that I can do boxing with it and one day I was playing with this hot guy and suddenly his shorts went invisible and I could see his long hard shaft that smelt and tasted good because it had been in some guys ass so I got a boner and my dick impaled him onto the wall and now he is dead but it’s OK because I stole his cock and had it for lunch. IS THIS NORMAL??
March 10th, 2008 at 2:20 am
This is my favorite thread ever.
Is this normal?
March 10th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
My neighbour has both male and female parts (both very large for the record-i see that people like to know that sorta thing) and he/she impregnates him/herself every-time he/she gets excited.
Is this abnormal?
March 10th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
I have two penises…when hard I put a rubber band over it and use it as a slingshot from my balcony.
Is this normal?
March 11th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
My dick is 6 inches wide and 1 inch long and resembles a can of tuna. I am 11 years old.
Is this normal for a boy of my age?
March 12th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
im 26 and my dicks only 3.5inchs but i dont think it matters that much
March 13th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Im 14 and my penis 4 ft long. Sometimes thenstead of jacking off with my 2 hands i put it up my ass and enjoy it. Somebody please tell me if they too have this problem.IS THIS NORMAL?
March 14th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I am 30 and my cock hasn’t stopped growing since I was born. I measured it recently using a meter stick, I have to say that it is now about 60 inches long. Perhaps that makes an average of two inches a year. I find that I can only get full erections when I am at the hospital with high-pressure donor blood being intravenously pumped into my arteries. Such monster erections usually get a lot of attention from slutty nurses, if any are around at the time, who have an appetite for public cock sucking on erect knobs in excess of 2 meters.
Such a long cock has other uses. I can tie things up with it and dangle on it when I go rock climbing down the sports center
I couldn’t be happier with my big schlong. Everyone should be proud of their knobs - of course except those poor lads with micro penis.
Yay!
March 17th, 2008 at 5:28 am
hi i am 12 years old and my dick is 5.5 inches long and i want to make it longr . can i use enzyte?
March 19th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Hey does anyone remember a song from the 80’s - something about a guy with a hundred-foot long cock?
I think at some stage the lyrics talk about him fucking Godzilla in the ass, and maybe knocking planes out of the sky.
I think it was called “The Incredible Fuck”
Not normal, I know…
March 20th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
My cock is abnormal. Is this normal for an abnormal cock?
March 26th, 2008 at 4:13 am
This is definitely THE wierdest thread I have EVER encounterred on this amazing World Wide Web!
March 29th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Hi.
I am 13 years old and have a 6inch enis is that small for my age?
(P.S.)I wank about 1-3 times a day
March 29th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Hi I love wanking and my penis is 5 + a half inches but i am only 13 is this normal for my age?
I use limewire for my porn and paris hilton sex tape.
If anyone has free sex tapes please send them to Silcock01@hotmail.co.uk
NO GAY SEX TAPES PLEASE
March 30th, 2008 at 12:19 am
Many years ago I realised my dick had gone missing but I found it again after a few weeks of searching. I must admit it had been a worrying time but there it was again. Coincidentally enough it habitually wore mini-skirts and had grown a killer pair of legs. I managed to befriend it again, reluctant as it was at first, and we have lived happily together these many years. A great cook and manager of our funds too, it has to be said.
Is this normal?
March 31st, 2008 at 11:58 pm
when i have a full erection (or any erection) the head of my penis gets covered by extra skin. and it hurts when i pull the extra skin back, also when i pull it back you still can’t see the head
(i am only 13, but i think it has to do with the fact that when i was young i pulled my penis back to hard and cut it)
April 4th, 2008 at 10:57 am
My penis looks just like corn on the cob…its ugly but it taste great with some butter and salt!
April 6th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
When I get excited my cock bends around my scrotum between my legs and goes into my bumhole.
Is this normal?
April 9th, 2008 at 4:02 am
And proof yet again the biggest penis awards go to white males!!!
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:03 am
My Penis is so large that it is now covering the entire planet earth. This is excellent for crime fighting as I can shift my body and blood with an erection and appear anywhere on earth. Is this normal?
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
My penis measures 575 mm when fully sized. Is this normal for a man who turns 86 this summer?
April 27th, 2008 at 6:59 am
wow youll people got a lot of problems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!and most of you need to get a life big time and you no 4 a fact that your lieing just so people got something to read and then think DAMN where do that boy live at id hit dat or just have something to look at then lolz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and most people on these websites are rapers n wana screw some booty!?!?!so you should not try and expose your self so fast and if it is that important to expose your self that fastthan you have major problems and should get a job to keep your mind out of the gutter and rember STAY IN SCHOOL IT DOSE HELP 4 YOUR FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know from experiance!!!!!!!
April 27th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
dis is so funi 2 read keep postin stuffff
April 27th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
im 92 AND LIVING WITH MY PARENTS HOW DO YOU GET AN ERECTIION
April 27th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
im so old and crusty that i need a crowbar to ply back my foreskin
is this normal
ps wats an erection
May 1st, 2008 at 12:29 am
i am damn sure my penis is the biggest in the world , u all mother fuckers come to have a taste of it and i bet ur all mothers will sweat
May 1st, 2008 at 10:57 am
I am almost 15 and I can’t measure my willy accurately. I think it’s about 4 inches, but my foreskin is 3 feet long and I can’t pull it back far enough to see. When erect, it looks like a snake digesting an egg. Is this normal?
Also, when at school I have to roll up the skin and put it in a colostomy bag. It smells funny sometimes. Does anyone else have this problem??
May 4th, 2008 at 1:15 am
the weirdest and most stupid thread in the whole world.
why these people put stupid posts like im a 8yr old kid with random size. fucking rediculous bastards
May 14th, 2008 at 10:16 am
i am 11 and a half and i have a 11 inch ding dong iz dat big or small 4 my age
May 18th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
I AM 29 AND I HAVE 18 INCHES BLACK COCK IS THAT NORMAL?
May 20th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Hello,
My name is Ben Nau, I from South-Korea. My penis measures just 4cm when erected. Can i grow it bigger? Im 27 years old. Please help me.
May 24th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
i fucked this kid in the ass one day nd he saw that mi cum filled his nuts nd 2 days later his nuts exploded is dat normal?
May 26th, 2008 at 5:54 am
My cock is so bent over that whenever I get a boner, it hits my balls. This really hurts and I’m afraid that I will soon neuter myself.
Does anyone else have this problem
May 30th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Heya I ain’t the most intellijent guy and dis here thread (yuck yucK) is conphusing my little old bran, so I was wondering if one of you here folks could joost infarm me of one perticular peece of informasion: watt is a peenis? Whateva it is, I sure don’t pozess one. Do they have them in Irack or Irann, cos I need to start some more here wars, and those penises are prooving a threet to the safty of the enteere civilized world, dammit! I preesume these here bonners you yak about are attacks by el kayakeda using these here new-fangled penises on the good folkk of this here country. How dar they use bonners to kill americans, when my here actions are the only thing that shood. Damit, I don’t want these here bonners to kill more folk than I did with Katreena or lakk of affordable healthcare. Hey, wate a minute, bonners should be leegalised so that all americcans kan carry them - the konstitution says a man has a rite to deefend himself, and bonners must be aloowed so theey kan do dis. Dis is all so confusin (yuck yuvk), may be I sgood just go ask sumone - where’s that nise Karl Rove wenn yuo need him, or that greet Scooter Libby. I cood teell John Mccain about these bonners - im shure thats one thing that Byrakk Obarma aint got
June 3rd, 2008 at 9:35 pm
To save money, I use the cheese on my nob as sandwich spread. Is this normal?
June 7th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
When my dick gets hard it bends down and around and everytime it gos into my own ass, is that normal?
June 9th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
ok… weird guys
June 12th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
My penis is so damn big the only thing i manage to bang is elephants is that normal?