So, in case you don’t live on the planet Earth, I’ll let you know that the fame-hating, super modest and humble couple, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian (Kimye), are allegedly getting married on May 24th. I’m sure it will be the least extravagant, least pretentious, least WTF wedding ever. In case you’re like my old roommate Erin, who had a bizarre inability to tell when I’m joking, I will let you know that I am, in fact, joking. Kanye will probably make this shit all “high fashion” and experimental by wearing a leather, white grown and making Kim wear a tux made out of raccoon eyelashes. Yes, I said he’d be wearing the gown.
Anyway, sources are saying that Kanye asked his super BFFAAPAD (best friends for ever and always plus a day), Jay-Z, if he would be his best man, and you know what Jay-Z said? NO! Jay-Z said he would be apart of the fuckery that is Kimye’s wedding, and you know why? Because he and Beyoncé (who I like to call Bey-Z) want nothing to do with that tacky ass Keeping up with The Kardashians shit. Yeah, no duh.