Tulisa Contosatvlos is many things. She’s an average singer. She’s got stuff written on her arm which sounds like female empowerment, but doesn’t actually make sense. She’s a TV judge. She’s a perfume vendor. She doesn’t know what rock music is.
Ostensibly, she’s the new Alesha Dixon then. Weight Watchers awaits.
Either way, Tulisa has gone off to America to record her solo album and while she was there, she went with her team to a strip-club to see some female bosses giggling their shop-floor around in people’s faces. While she was there, Tulisa was photographed with a boob right next to her face! CRIKEY!
Hitting the town with her loyal assistant Gareth (we mention his name so you can coo at the notion that he’s important enough to be mentioned by name because the implication is that Tulisa and ‘Gareth’ are having sex with each other), Tulisa was taken to a strip joint with music producer and singer songwriter Terius Nash.
Apparently, Contostavlos was giggling as she was treated to a private routine by a blonde dancer and afterward, she tweeted:
“Epic is not the word!”
Her assistant Gareth then tweeted:
“So its a strip club ting with @officialtulisa and the rest off the crew. Ok cool, we can vibes with this. The way this blonde ting is going on, she don’t give a shit, pussy out and 4a dolla or 2.”
Gareth there, showcasing is frightening grasp of the English language there (again, we mention that so you can assume that he’s following Tulisa around for something other than his clearly large brain).
Then, just when it couldn’t get anymore depraved, a photo was tweeted featuring Tulisa and a massive, sweaty, bronzed tit!