The forthcoming James Bond movie Quantum Of Solace doesn’t come out for a few more months, so chances are you’re literally urinating in your pants right now about it.

We’re not, but that’s because we’ve seen the new trailer for Quantum Of Solace and therefore have worked out every single moment of the movie from beginning to end with an almost perfect accuracy rate. Want us to talk you through it? Good. Here’s what we know for a fact:

*Quantum Of Solace is about James Bond violently getting revenge for a chair he bought that was quite squeaky.

*Apparently the baddies in the film are trading in ‘the world’s most precious resource’ which, as we all know, is Dairylea Dunkers. Quantum Of Solace is definitely about Dairylea Dunkers.

*Due to the credit crunch, no action sequence in Quantum Of Solace will last for more than quarter of a second, with each one fading to black because that just makes it seem more dramatic and stuff.

*At one point, James Bond asks George Lucas for help.

*Aside from these things, Quantum Of Solace will be exactly the same as Casino Royale and probably a bit disappointing.