Top Ten Celebrity Perfumes That Really Stink
Then buzz it up
March 3rd, 2008 at 13:00 by hecklerspray staff
Christian Dior once said a woman's perfume tells more about her than her handwriting. Considering celebrity perfume sales have raised by over 2,000 per cent since 2004, this is a tragic thought.
Not because these celebrities that clog up the perfume market stink to the high heavens (although we have no firm evidence either way), but because of what it says about today's women. If fragrances reflect the era, then this is the era of reality TV and desperate sell-out celebrities.
Here are the top ten worst offenders…
10. 'Just me' by Paris Hilton
They missed a trick not calling this 'Just me, you and a video camera.' Note to Paris' marketing team, call us.
9. 'With Love' by Hilary Duff.
Hilary who? Enough said.
8. 'Stunning' by Katie Price
Hah! How we laugh. You too can look 'stunning' if you buy this perfume and a stateside nose job, teeth veneers, Botox, breast implants, hair extensions…
7. 'Mwah!' by Chanelle Hayes (clue: Posh Spice wannabe from Big Brother 8)
Victoria Beckham already has her own perfume on the market so why would you settle for this cheap, nasty imitation? And as for the perfume…
6. 'Shh'… by Jade Goody.
For the love of Christ woman take your own advice, shhut up and shhove off
5. 'Fantasy' by Britney Spears.
Is there really a need to explain our lack of desire to buy this product?
4. 'Enchanting' by Celine Dion.
Its smell is described as a mix of 'magique' and 'musique'. Well, send it down with Titanique we say, We're sure our heart will go on (sorry, that was awful).
3. 'S2' by Shilpa Shetty.
Maybe Shilpa was too busy being fondled on stage by Richard Gere when they asked her to come up with the name for this. S2, just one letter and one number. That's just laziness isn't it Shetty?
2. 'Paradise Passion' by Naomi Campbell.
Roja Dove, a leading perfumer, described one of her perfumes as "hideous" and said it made him "feel physically sick."One for the mother-in-law this Mother's Day, then.
1. 'Devil Woman' by Cliff Richard.
It's freaky and unnerving that he is able to make perfumes from beyond the grave. What? He's still alive? How is that scientifically possible? Cliff Richard's bottled immortality? Now that we would buy.
[story by Louise Robertson]
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March 3rd, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I’m thinking that ‘S2′ by Shilpa Shetty is actually a scent for Nazi’s. S2 = SS, her initials and of course everyone knows the SS were a Nazi military organization under Adolf Hitler.
Or maybe not.
March 3rd, 2008 at 3:07 pm
SS, Ess-Ess, and S-Ess were all taken.
Also, just a quick jot over the Himalaya’s and you can buy
Sherpa Shitty’s yak-oil musk treats: unforgettable, distinctive
and they set you apart from the herd. Or you can buy and
mix all of the above into one giant celebrity soup mix and, despite
the significant chance of spontaneous combustion, don an
olfactory cloak so cloyingly thick, the paparazzi will be brought
to tears. If you can get close enough. Better just stay indoors.
Yes. That’s it.
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:58 pm
much as i hate to say it Paris Hiltons perfumes are nice! they don’t smell like fannys or anything.
I think J-Lo’s Glow should be on there, it smells like washing up liquid