Being a celebrity isn’t all bad, you know. Sure you are hounded by an insatiable media hell-bent on knowing your every move, but, then again, you get lots of free stuff. You see, it all evens itself out.
You also get away with hitting the people who irritate you – like reporters and photographers. Why? Well, firstly because you’re a celebrity and we should all be grateful if a star like you lowers yourself to even touch us. The second reason is because everyone hates nasty paparazzi almost as much as celebrities do. Do we cry if a reporter gets punched? Well, of course not.
Do we look at their pictures? Of course we do. So why then do we seem to react to a celebrity beating then up in the same way we would a dancing bear turning on its tormentors? Who knows?
Anyway, hecklerspray has decided to come up with seven of the best. Let battle commence.
7. Avril Lavigne
Avril Lavigne has her own way of dealing with the pesky paparazzi – she spits on them. Rock and roll!
6. Chris Martin
Chris Martin is not the kind of guy you would expect to resort to violence. He is a big believer is peace; a message he tries to get across in his lyrics. Unless, of course, he has paparazzi in his sights. Then it’s a different story. There is no way Martin would ever advocate blood sports. But change the foxes into annoying reporters/ photographers and the Coldplay singer will be champing at the bit trying to satisfy his blood lust. This clip of Martin attacking a snapper outside a New York hospital earlier this year was in no way his first indiscretion. Back in 2003, Martin was arrested in Australia after a photographer spotted Martin smashing his car windscreen and letting down his tyres. The charges were later dropped
5. Vinnie Jones
Remember the days when Hollywood star Vinnie Jones was just a crap footballer who hurt people a lot. Well, back in 1997, Jones, sick of dishing out punishment to fellow Premier League stars, he instead decided to take out his anger on Mirror reporter Ted Oliver. It was just after the ill-fated match between The Republic of Ireland and England, which had to be abandoned after violence broke out between the two sets of fans. Oliver was at a hotel trying to find out when the match would be rescheduled, but Jones walked in and decided to bite Ted’s nose. Blood streaming from his wound, the reporter responded to cries of ‘get a doctor’ by instead saying ‘no, get me a photographer’.
4. Britney Spears
No moment better sums up the pop singer’s slide than when a bald and umbrella-wielding Britney decided to take all her frustrations out on a photographer’s Ford Explorer
3. Jay Kay
Ok, so this is actually paparazzi fights back at celebrity. But the sight of the pint-sized Jamiroquai singer getting headbutted is so funny we had to put it in
2. Bjork
Airports clearly don’t agree with Icelandic star Bjork. Having beaten up a reporter at Bangkok airport back in 1996, the singer had another bout of air rage earlier this year when she launched herself at a snapper in a New Zealand airport
1. Sean Penn
“I still think photographers should be lashed out at. They should be put in a cage where you can poke them with a stick for a quarter. But not in a hostile way, just for giggles. They really are on the attack against mankind; it’s a disease.” You’ve got to feel sorry for any paparazzi that have been told to trail Sean Penn. The fiery actor is so well known for his brawls with photographers and reporters alike that when celebrities do hit back it’s known as ‘doing a Sean Penn’. Mind you, we think we would have reacted in exactly the same way as Penn back in 1986 in China when he discovered a reporter in his hotel room. He hung him by his ankles over a ninth-floor balcony. Come on, you would have done the same. Anyway, he was arrested and charged with attempted murder before breaking out of prison and fleeing the country. He was later acquitted.
