People were up in arms about The Stig’s unmasking being considered newsworthy. So, of course, this article is dedicated to those people in an attempt to wind them up to the point where they grind their teeth into dust.
Of course, you’ll be more than aware of the fact that Some Bloke told the world that he was The Stig. If you really want to know his name before you forget it for the rest of your life, he’s called Ben. Ben Collins. He can drive cars really fast.
Or at least he used to because Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson has revealed he’s been handed his P45 after his little court battle with the BBC.
Thanks to all this, the world will spin the wrong way on its axis as Clarkson announced that the show’s format will change after The Stig outed himself. Imagine that. A TV show doing things slightly differently than it once did. Trying to process that notion is making us collectively feel like we’re coming down off bad drugs.
Clarkson said:
“He is history as far as we are concerned, he is sacked.”
“It was a shock. I was hurt, actually, because I liked him and he came around to my house and had drinks and all the time he was writing a book, so I feel a bit hurt.”
So what’s next? Well, apart from Ben Whatshisface wondering whether his book was worth it and whether he should’ve given up such a well-paid and prestigious job, Clarkson said that Top Gear won’t be short of options.
“We’ve many, many thousands of people queuing up to be whatever it is that we create.”
“I have spent the last three weeks doing nothing but trying to figure out what we will do instead. We will get somebody. Top Gear is damaged but not out.”
So there you have it. Earth shattering stuff. Jeremy Clarkson feels hurt and Ben Thingy will now sit at home, alone, dressed in a boiler suit with a pan on his head, making the sound of shrieking tyres and shouting the word ‘Gambon’ over and over until he finally ends his life with a hose attached to the exhaust of his Toyota Prius.
helene says
“given up such a well-paid and prestigious job!” That’s a pretty bad description of Stigs job…
No evidence for it being well-payed. The man behind the Stig is replaceable as he has no face, so no grounds for tough salary-negotiation. Black Stig did not earn that much either.
Prestigious… there’s zero honor or glory if you have to keep it a secret. And afterward no prestige as he has ruined the mystery.
Dan says
stig was the show nobody watched it to hear those pompous, arrogant idiots give their useless opinions on cars, we all watched it because stig would take any car and really show us what its worth. He wasnt paid anywhere near what jeremy nobody, richard who cares or ….. cant remember the last guy doesnt matter anyway, stig is top gear and since we all know who he is now Ben Collins, Ben is the man, the top gear guys really screwed up by not keeping him happy, i wouldnt be surprised if the show gets cancelled soon, it won’t be the same without ya Ben, itl be worthless, i guess the hosts will realize this and try to do lap in even half the time Ben (the real star of the show) could and crash and die
Unknown says
DAN your a fucking cook head
Stig is gay says
Dan you are full of shit…..stig is top gear my ass. go suck ben whoevers his name is, Dick.
Polly says
I do not see what all the outrage is about, sure it took the mystery out of the identity of the “Old Stig, Ben Collins.” No worries, how about the, “New Improved Stig, Identity Unknown.” Problem solved, Drive on!
Mark says
While this may seem like harmless banter, please keep in mind that children love this show and may read your age inappropriate comments.
Think before you press enter. Would you want to explain your comments to your child?
dumb people says
the poor guy! no one of you idiots really know what was going on within bbc,now you come here with your bullshit about the stig was nothing and that top gear was nothing without the stig? luckily there is a whole world full of people like me that thinks you all are idiots. by the way.whighter of this article, you are an aqsshole through and through! trying to sound like clarkson! idiot
You are an idiot. says
You’re talking as if your taking it personally, Jeremy and Richard, are, for the most part fantastic driver, and James is a great driver. If you watched the show for the Stig and only for the Stig then you’ve missed out on some amazing entertainment, Jeremy, Richard and James are fantastic at what they do, regardless of what your obviously handicapped mind believes. Ben obviously violated the terms of his contract with the BBC by outing himself as the Stig, its his own fault, I mean hell, I liked him too, but I liked the character he was portraying, not the man himself, and unless you know him personally, you have no reason to say what you said. The way you’re talking about him, I’m inclined to think you share your bed with him and take it in the bumb from him.
Bo says
Dan you must have been drinking a of gasoline, just hang yourself
Dean says
Dan you must of been watching another show, Stig is a talented driver that is all, the other 3 are great presenters, reviewers and likeable people.
You must be one of those people that prefers the American office, ooh well someone gotta have bad taste!
Ranger says
The Stig was an awesome driver but he was only a part of a great show as a whole. He would have less than 2 mins a week in a car, while Jeremy, James, and Richard spent most of the show driving there asses off and showing us the good and bad of the cars they tested. Show a little respect to them. They’ve more then earned it in my opinion.
AlGoreRhythm says
i agree he probably wasn’t paid all that much compared to the main hosts, however…
“there