Here, have a guest blog by Josh from Interestment…
There was a time, probably in the 1980s and 1990s, when having a celebrity girlfriend would make you the coolest guy in the world.
After all, look at famous people ? they're so wealthy, so demure, their hair is so light and feathery. And how about the way they smell! Is that Chanel No 5? Probably, we wouldn't know, because we're just rubbish normal people. We wear Lynx.
What great days, but unfortunately times have changed, and the lines between famous people and normal people have now completely blurred, meaning that even former pop stars like Kerry Katona can date cab drivers, and all the money in the world can't possibly help that poor sneery one from Girls Aloud. With that in mind, we thought we?d outline some famous people we wouldn't go out with, even if they were really really keen on us…
1. Duffy
Sorry Duffy, but it's a no. It's hard to correctly locate what it is about Duffy that makes her so unappealing as a life partner. It could be that she appears to be lying about her age. Or it could be that she has the look of a woman who would spend entire evenings clinging onto you for dear life, only occasionally pausing to weep because you went to the toilet for three minutes and she thought you might have left her. A friend of ours also insists that she looks like she'd have really bad morning breath? all day.
2. Sarah Harding
Afraid not, Sarah Harding. Far too laddy, were you to introduce her to your friends, she'd insist in calling everyone ‘geezer’, and might even think it's alright to break wind in front of you. After only a couple of meetings, even your most loyal friends would make excuses if they knew Harding was going to be out as well. A very very annoying young woman/man.
3. Jennifer Aniston
Please, Aniston, no is no. If only Jennifer Aniston hadn?t been caught draped alarmingly over Brad Pitt, with the look in her eye of a protective lioness guarding her young. Chances are, were you ever to get together, she'd have a wire tap on your phone within a month, and strange men in shades talking into their lapels following your every move. It's all out of love, she'd tell you, driving a bread knife right into your lungs. Avoid.
4. Britney Spears
Just leave it, Spears. No one in their right mind could possibly be drawn to Britney, once such a kindly, virginal young woman. Her descent into complete insanity has been well documented, meaning that every time you introduced her to someone new, you'd have to take them to one side to explain that she's really fine now, quite together actually. Oh, and surprisingly funny? yeah, really funny. Unfortunately, not one of those things would be true. Too nuts.
This has been? guest blog by Josh Burt from the plain wonderful Interestment. If you don’t go and read it this second, you’re a fool.
You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!
BB Stings says
Whenever Sarah Harding is on TV, she oozes a unnerving mix of sexuality and aggression. She seems like the sort of girl who, during sex, would punch you in the face if you climaxed before she did.
Julian Mentat says
The problem with Duffy as a girlfriend is that she’s so blatant about plundering Black musical heritage, that if you were walking down the street with her she’d possibly pickpocket black people just out of sheer habit.
Also she rides dirty filthy bicycles into newly scrubbed convenience stores.
markie says
How old does Duffy claim to be?
Rima says
I think the britney part was a little harsh :-( I love Britney and I think shes made a lot of progress, and people are catching on to that!
tia says
aww leave britney out of this, she’ll find a nice sweet guy, and any guy who is embarrassed by her isn’t worthy of her love
Sure_Idiot says
as if you’d turn any of these women down. lets see a pic of you and we’ll see. Britney looks amazing and has a successful album and the most successful tour around right now. She has issues! OMG, you’re so perfect aren’t you? And it’s insulting and sexist to suggest having depressing or a breakdown is “nuts.” I think it’s funny how the male celebrities can act however they like and the media looks the other way or calls the “Bad Boys” with a wink.
Going through a depression is tough with the world watching. I’m sure
you’d never be able to handle what she did and live through it. AND turn around to be successful again. That’s a strong woman, and anyone should be proud to date someone who went through hell and back and got back on their feet and never gave up.
Sure_Idiot says
http://i44.tinypic.com/b5lgft.gif
I’m know many dudes, who’d love to date this chick.