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Top 7 Films To Get You Laid

March 25th, 2009 By David Schwartz

Top 7 Films To Get You Laid Betty Blue SecretaryLet's face it, we could all do with a bit more sex.

It's a beautiful thing – even if it is a quick knee-trembler around the back of the bar with that ugly girl/ guy from accounts. But sometimes getting your partner in the mood for a bit of loving can be difficult. Sometimes they are just too tired. There's never enough alcohol or Rohypnol when you need it.

Well, hecklerspray understands your pain, so we have come up with a list of films guaranteed to get them hornier than a dog with two cocks…

7. Secretary (2002)
Boss James Spader punishes his secretary Maggie Gyllenhaal's typos by giving her a good spank over his desk. We're just glad that rule has never been enforced at Hecklerspray Towers.

6. Bound (1996)
Wondered what the Wachowski brothers did before they did The Matrix? They made crime thrillers about two red-hot women (Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon) enjoying a steamy lesbian love affair while attempting to rip off the Mafia. The brothers even hired a 'sex consultant' to help with the lovemaking scenes. It certainly did the trick.

5. To Catch a Thief (1955)
Cary Grant and Grace Kelly swap sexual innuendos in Hitchcock's superb 1955 film.

4. Betty Blue (1986)
Beatrice Dalle became an overnight sensation and the favourite pin-up of many a university undergraduate after this stunning debut. Spotted by director Jean-Jacques Beineix walking down the street, Dalle is simply sensational as the beautiful but wild Betty. You know you are in for a treat from the opening scene.

3. Stealing Beauty (1996)
Liv Tyler
goes to Italy after her mother commits suicide and pops her cherry in this steamy coming-of-age movie by Italian helmer Beranando Bertolucci. Granted, it does disappear up its own arse in some places, but the build-up to the scene when she loses her virginity is a masterclass in sexual tension. See, now we've disappeared up our own arse. Bloody Europeans.

2.  And God Created Woman (1956)
Brigitte Bardot became an international sex symbol after this superb performance. The very definition of a sex kitten.

1. Dangerous Liaisons (1988)
Heaving bosoms apart, Dangerous Liaisons proves brain is the biggest sexual organ of them all.

Comments

  1. Miss Cellania says

    February 25, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    May I assume that, in order for this scheme to work, that you must find someone to watch these movies WITH? That’s the hard part!

  2. gir says

    February 25, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    There’s only so much the internet can do, Miss.

  3. David Schwartz says

    February 25, 2008 at 4:35 pm

    Alas, it always is.

  4. carmela says

    February 25, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    ive never seen any of these.

    this explains alot….

  5. johnny says

    February 26, 2008 at 2:54 am

    http://north-buffalo.myminicity.com/ind

  6. Gospadin says

    February 26, 2008 at 9:17 am

    I can watch these films just fine by myself, thank you, and still have sex because I know when I’m in the mood.

  7. Maria says

    February 26, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    I haven’t seen these films and i had sex so i don’t see the point of this top 7.

  8. gir says

    February 26, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    HEY I’M A GIRL AND I HAD SEX!! THE SEXY SEX STUFF!!! WITH MY BUTT AND BOOBS ALL HANGIN OUT AND STUFF!! A GIRL! ME!!!!!!!!!

  9. monster munch says

    February 26, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    i think these responses prove that nobody on the internet gets laid.

    except me.

  10. gir says

    February 26, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    Apparently you’ve never heard of “cybering”. I’m like the Gene Simmons of the internet except my sex video is a chat log.

    Current Mood – Indifferent
    Current Music – Foreigner, “I Wanna Know What Love Is”

  11. mst3kster says

    February 26, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Hey, I have sex all the time. Frankly, it’s too much sex – way too much.

    I mean, my hand won’t stop cramping.

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