In case you didn’t know, all men are pathetic, lonely, and confused as hell about life and what it all means. Bless their hearts. You see, they can’t figure anything out for themselves and need a little push in the right direction on their life paths.
Enter the Manic Pixie Dream Girl: a quirky, free-spirited, and spontaneous young lady who’s so irresistibly offbeat, yet charming. They swoop in and release these poor saps from their pathetic empty shells and bring color to their hazy world, only to eventually shatter all of their hopes and dreams forever. Isn’t that sweet?!
1. Summer - 500 Days of Summer
Tom falls in love with Summer because she’s the only girl in the world who listens to The Smiths and has a retro haircut. And oh my God, she’s like, SO progressive about relationships. She doesn’t believe in love and is totally upfront and honest about it! “Relationships are messy,” she says. I mean, why would anyone want to have an emotional connection with someone, right? Don’t even get me started on how endearing it is that Ringo Starr is her favorite Beatle and how she talks like a movie star from the 1940’s. Sigh…she is the perfect girl and I wish I were like her. Especially when Miss Anti-love breaks Tom’s heart and gets engaged to another man.
2. Sam – Garden State
Ahhh what’s not to love about a pathological liar who talks your head off non-stop? She even sounds and dresses like a fourteen year old! Guess it’s true what they say about men liking younger women. It’s also really awesome how she’s like a little detective, asking all these personal questions to a guy she’s known for five seconds and then forcing him to listen to The Shins. Not that I don’t like The Shins, but she says that they will change your life forever and I know that is not true. Lies. All lies.
3. Claire Colburn – Elizabethtown
Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got ourselves another chatty Kathy. Manic Pixie Dream Girls loooove to talk about their eccentricities and say things that make no sense at all, like, “I’m impossible to forget, but I’m hard to remember.” Men love when girls speak gibberish because it sounds batshit insane and dudes love a crazy gal. What really irks me about Claire is she has to go and make this really cool road trip kit for Drew to take across the country to scatter his father’s ashes. I hate her for making this because who could actually do it? Way to set the bar too high for the rest of us, Claire. Much appreciated.
4. Clementine Kruczynski - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
With a name like Clementine, you’re practically begging to become the kind of girl who dyes her hair blue and pairs it with a bright orange sweat shirt. She looks like a Muppet and it’s sooo quirky and Joel just can’t resist her in-your-face personality. There is a twist with this one, though. She’s pretty straight up about not wanting to be the type of girl that guys think will “fix” them. But that right there is what makes her even more like that type of girl! Ughhh what man wouldn’t fall in love with someone that rejects her own label? Boy is she is one of a kind! Can’t let her get away! No one out there like her!
5. Penny Lane - Almost Famous
I’m sorry but if she talks about Morocco one more time I’m going to slice my ears off. Let’s go to Morocco. We’ll go to Morocco. Shut up about Morocco already. She pines after a rock star that uses her for sex because she’s so interesting and fun and speaks French while wearing a fur coat. But don’t you dare call her a groupie! She is a “band aid.” Band aids are there for the music, not the fame. How cool is that? A woman who appreciates music! Who knew those existed? One last thing – how old is she really? If she’s sixteen like she tells William, then what the fuck?