It’s simple. It’s because animals are sexy. It’s not an exaggeration that all of us – even you, ladies – have had to stifle an erection during Free Willy or that Clint Eastwood film with the sexy monkey in it. There’s no point trying to deny it – it’s simple human nature. Animals are just sexy. They just are.
But which are the ten sexiest animals to have ever appeared in a movie? That’s harder to pinpoint. After a lot of office debate, we think we’ve finally whittled it down. Sure, there may be some movie animals not included in this list that you find sexually irresistible. Be sure to let us know the ones we’ve missed. Enjoy…
10 – King Kong from King Kong
We’ve got something big and hard for you to climb up, Mr Kong.
9 – Basil from Basil The Great Mouse Detective
You know what mystery we’d like you to solve, Basil? The mystery of what this hard thing in our pocket is.
8 – Black Beauty from Black Beauty
Now there’s one beauty we’d like to feed sugarlumps to. And by ‘sugarlumps’ we mean ‘Rohypnol’ so we can bone it in its sleep. Or we mean ‘our testicles’. To be honest, we haven’t really thought it through very well.
7 – Ed from Ed
A monkey that shares a bed with Matt LeBlanc. We bet he’s seen some things worth talking about. Like Matt LeBlanc’s genitals, possibly.
6 – Digby from Digby The Biggest Dog In The World
You know what they say about big dogs, don’t you? They’ve got giant anuses, that’s what.
5 – The moose from Salt Water Moose
We know what we’d like to do with those antlers! Draw some boobs on them or something. Sexy!
4 – Jaws from Jaws
Imagine the damage those teeth could do, eh lads? To your penis. While it was fellating you. Eh, lads?
3 – Flipper from Flipper
Blah blah blah, something about a blowhole.
2 – The evil monkeys from Congo
We read a survey once that said that the most common sexual fantasy in humans is to take part in an orgy with several vicious elderly megalomaniac temple-guarding gorillas. And who’d disagree with that? Meow!
1 – Roger Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Roger Rabbit. Not Jessica Rabbit. Roger Rabbit. That’s important to remember, because Jessica Rabbit is technically human. Imagine having sex with a human. Ugh, gross!