Children’s television can seem a bit… y’know… touchy feely. Whilst there may be some good kid’s TV knocking around lately, there’s still a lot of cuddly dross. Gone are the cold, dead eyed shows to chill an infant’s marrow to ice.

Even though the shows have seemingly gone, one imagines that there’s still a market for it. By which, it is clear that Doctor Who has had a few nippers cowering behind the couch soiling themselves repeatedly.

So with that thinking, it kicked the ol’ grey matter in gear and posed the question – What about those programmes that frightened my half bleached? The more the search unfurled, the more it was clear – the key to a good piece of child horror was a frightening theme. Click over the jump for the top 10 scariest kid’s themes. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

1. Dramarama – The sound of a robot slowly waking up and muttering a nonsense word at you before stabbing you with a surgical claw.

2. Moomins – Cold, dead eyed hippo things wander a baron, unyielding place, soundtracked by Moog synthesisers.

3. Picture Box – quite possibly the most chilling theme ever recorded, regardless of age.

4. Box of Delights – hang on. This could be the most chilling.

5. Moondial – this is shit-your-pants frightening.

6. The Tomorrow People – famously frightening theme for infamous show which saw British children crapping their pelvises out at high velocity.

7. Fat Tulip’s Garden – Not frightening as such… but rather, unsettling.

8. Chock-a-block – vocoder voices appear again to give the sound of inanimate objects coming to life. This is the sound of a factory arousing itself before going on a murderous spree.

9. Zig Zag – dystopian, nightmarish, vocoder Tron world. Colder than an Inuit’s spare room.

10. Mr Noseybonk – okay, not a theme tune, but something that a child should never, ever have to endure in the name of ‘fun’, ‘education’ or anything that doesn’t involve nightmares.

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