If ever you needed convincing how much movies do not reflect real life look no further than cop movies. We love films about the police – we think they’re great!

If we were to believe Hollywood, we’d think cops are tough, wise-cracking, crazy bastards who would risk life and pension just to keep the streets safe from filthy criminals. If we were to believe Hollywood, we’d think cops are actually cool people. If we were to believe Hollywood, we would have faith in them to get the job done.

But this is not Hollywood, dammit! And cops are far from cool people who get the job done. In fact, in hecklerspray’s limited experience of dealing with the police, we generally find them obnoxious, pedantic, donut-munching, lazy, fat, pompous, pain-in-the arse, stupid, docile, boring motherfuckers. And that’s just the good ones.

So why do we like them so much? Is it because they’re generally the ones who ‘don’t play by the rules’. Not that anyone has ever explained what the goddamn game is, let alone what the stupid rules are.

Besides, we’d hate a cop who didn’t play by the rules in real life.

So it must be because they do what we all would love to do – deal out our own kind of rough justice on real ‘evil-doers’. Plus, they do it with a witty one-liner. Perfect! Maybe there’s a homicidal cop in all of us. What a frightening thought.