Tom Jones: ‘Chav Clothing Is Very Important’

Sometimes your expectations can really be confounded.

There hecklerspray was, pretty secure in our assumption that the Burberry clothing brand was the mark of illiterate, Stella-swigging, Ant And Dec-watching hooligan primates across the nation. How wrong we were. It's actually a valuable part of our economic infrastructure.

And you know what spurred on this realisation? Why, none other than gravelly-voiced coffin-dodger Tom Jones, the non-stop hitmaker behind It's Not Unusual and, er, loads of other ones.

Tom Jones is a bit upset that Burberry is planning to close one of its Welsh manufacturing plants. The production of the idiot-favoured polo shirts will now be moving to China, as the brand see it as an ideal opportunity to exploit a lower-paid workforce and increase their profits a good-hearted way of just helpin' the rest of the world out a bit.

Tom Jones has put on his angry face, meanwhile, and stopped thrusting his hips around (kind of like Gollum strapped to a washing machine) long enough to scribble out a strongly-worded letter to those responsible:

"As a local boy, I know how important this factory has been to the community in the Rhondda. I therefore urge the Burberry management to withdraw their plans to close their Treorchy factory."

It isn't just Jones who's getting all uppity, however - other stars protesting the closure include Ioan Gruffudd, Rhys Ifans and Emma Thompson. The pressure is such that Burberry may well be denied their 'Royal Warrant' (essentially the equivalent of a smiley-face 'Prince Charles Approves' sticker). MP Chris Bryant is all set to launch a commons debate:

"A Royal Warrant is our national seal of approval and it should only go to great British companies that stand by traditional British values. Any company that cannot say how much the workers making its goods overseas are paid - or cannot guarantee that children will not be used in their factories - should lose that seal of approval."

It's certainly a controversial issue. Hey - we've got an idea!

Why don't you - yes, you - go out there and see what the Burberry customers think? Go on - we're a bit lazy and we'd really like to know. All you have to is approach the nearest overweight drunk baboon you see wearing that fabled chequered pattern, and ask them what they think about the potential exploitation of overseas labour and the possible ramifications this may have with regards to our international relations.

Don't forget to book an ambulance first, mind.

Read more:

Tom Jones Joins Burberry Campaign - BBC