Don’t you just hate it when, say, a blessed angel straight from heaven hands you a set of golden plates that describe a visit of Jesus to American Indians, and then expects you to make a religion out of it?
Yeah, life sure is funny. Well, sure enough, that is exactly what happened to Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon Church, in 1827.
So naturally, you ask, what might Tom Hanks have to say about all this? Well, as it turns out, plenty, or now nothing, or, hell, here it is…
During a recent L.A. premiere for his now ironically-named HBO series Big Love, producer Hanks blew a head valve over the ‘Un-American’ Prop-8 party-poopers who chose not to support the rights of gay Californians to roger each other up the wazoo:
“The truth is these people are some bizarre offshoot of the Mormon Church, and the truth is a lot of Mormons gave a lot of money to the church to make Prop-8 happen.”
Not cool, Tom. This is the age of Obama, remember?
Sensing that he had offended the thousands of movie-going yet vacant-eyed followers of Smith (a man who, by the way, spent much of his early years gazing at his ‘seer stone’ in the bottom of his white stovepipe hat in order to locate hidden treasures), Hanks, with his balls to the wall, quickly issued the following statement to People magazine:
“Last week, I labeled members of the Mormon church who supported California’s Proposition 8 as “un-American.” I believe Proposition 8 is counter to the promise of our Constitution; it is codified discrimination. But everyone has a right to vote their conscience – nothing could be more American. To say members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who contributed to Proposition 8 are “un-American” creates more division when the time calls for respectful disagreement. No one should use “un- American” lightly or in haste. I did. I should not have.”
Tom Hanks. What an arsehat.
[story by McG]
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Wasn’t Joseph Smith alive like in the 1800′s ? I assume you mean 1827, instead of 1927 ? I guess people probably don’t come here for facts. But whoever cares, so be it.
>> “No one should use un-American lightly or in haste”
Actually, Tom, when you’re talking about the 95% of the human race who are not from the USA, you SHOULD use it.
When I was a kid I thought that “golden plates” crap meant dishes for eating. And that the angel was named Macaroni. And that Smith put rocks on his eyes to read Macaroni’s dishes.
I’m still not sure why we had a Book of Mormon. I was brought up Jewish/Unitarian.
Perhaps Tom was confusing “un-American” with “anti-American”.
I’m not sure what “anti-American” means these days. But I think it means “believing that a banknote should not be printed unless it represents an actual asset somewhere”
This is the most retarded shit. The man should have stuck to his guns, not caved like a spongy-spined buckler. I’m guessing Mr Hanks found out the Mormons were one of his biggest backers or some such. Pathetic.
This article is hardly worth these corrections, but just the same, get your figures straight. First, Joseph Smith was alive in the 1800′s. The Mormon church was established in 1830. Secondly there are millions of members in the U.S. not thousands, but who’s counting. Thanks Tom for the apology!
You wouldn’t get this crap from us Amish. We don’t care what orifice you’re taking it in or out of, you’re all going to hell. We’re just not shitty about it like all those other crackpot religions. I’ll have to go now. I’m not supposed to use the Babbage machines.
Your faithful servant,
Lumpen Gristle
You make me laugh.
There’s so much wrong with this article that I hardly know where to start. But let me say this. If an author can’t get a date right within, oh let’s say, 100 years or so, he probably doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about. And anyone who believes the things that author writes deserves to wallow in their own ignorance.
This article has many facts completely wrong. 1827, not 1927. The seer stone was used to find treasure, when Joseph Smith was employed to do so; by the way, no treasure was found. Also, there are millions of mormon people all over the globe- most of which are located outside the United States.
Stabby McGee, the name says it all, I think most people need to just keep their mouths shut like the old saying its better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt like retard fag gixzo and Tom Hanks and the rest of the hollywood fruitcakes. We would be much better off if the hollywood fruitcakes would stop trying to dictate what we should think and let God our creator be the one who tells us how to behave, a man and woman should marry, have children and pass on our legacy. Last time I looked two men or two women could not reproduce, that the way GOD made it and if He wants to change that it will be him changing that not Tom Hanks or the rest of the hollywood fruitcakes. Look at this sign, Aids,Hiv. Its enough for me to obey ,lets not mess with GOD plan.
‘Retard fag gixzo’, Mr. Earl? Someone’s not being meek enough. Someone’s not going to inherit the earth. Shame on you.