Tom Cruise Weathers Tropic(al) Thunder to Walk Katie Holmes to Work. Or Something.

It would appear that Katie Holmes didn’t manage to run away from Tom Cruise as fast as we would have hoped for the poor girl.

She did manage to escape to the other side of the US ‘to be in a Broadway show’, as the official story put it - we know that was just a cover, and we urged Katie to run for her Creeking life. But it would seem her cover of ‘I have a job over there’ didn’t hold water with hubby Tom Cruise, and the fat bald one from Tropic Thunder has re-stamped his authority on Katie Holmes.

We tried to save her, we really did, but for some people there’s just no way around it. She’s consigned herself to a lifetime of being lead around by a dwarf, as she allowed the Cruiser to fly all the way across the country just to walk her to work.

Why didn’t you run, Katie? Why?

Aside from the initial escape to New York City, Holmes got all of our hopes up by not turning up at the Scientology Celebrity Centre’s 39th Anniversary Gala in a move of what looked to be defiance. This turned out to be a letdown, as she then went on to walk arm in arm with Cruise at the premiere of Tropic Thunder, thus quashing our hopes that she was hiding from the tiny Sleeper-Scientology man.

Maybe she still is - maybe she sent a robot out to pose with him. It’s not like she needs it to look as if it has life behind those robo-eyes now, is it? Katie Holmes doesn’t exactly forge herself a career of public appearances looking happy and alive - more fearful and machine-like. In fact, we’ve just figured it out, right this very second: she’s a robot! We, hecklerspray, are excellent detectives.

But the plan seems to have backfired, and the Katiebot was such a perfect copy that Tom Cruise now feels the need to follow it all over the country, thus putting the real Katie Holmes‘ hiding place in jeopardy. You should have run away when we told you to - really, you should.

While walking robo-Katie to ‘work’, as she called it, Cruise was apparently accosted by some builders. While the official story is that they tried to ask for autographs, we find that hard to believe. Nevertheless, OK! magazine reported:

“Some construction workers asked for a picture, but Tom politely said, ‘Sorry guys, I can’t stop. I’m walking my wife to work. She’s got rehearsals to get to.’”

Rehearsals - or a recharge point?!

Maybe we have stretched the analogy/accusation a little bit too far now, but the fact remains that Katie Holmes - robot or no - failed to escape from Tom Cruise properly. She had the chance to leg it and she failed, allowing Tom to take a late night flight across the country to walk her to work/make sure she isn’t walking around wearing a sandwich board that says ‘Scientology Is For Tiny Idiots’.

She’s losing the game, frankly.