Tom Cruise Vs Oprah: More Slightly Underwhelming Details
Then buzz it up
May 1st, 2008 at 16:00 by Stuart Heritage
Tomorrow’s the big day - the day when Oprah Winfrey goes toe-to-toe with Tom Cruise for a slightly creepy-looking interview.
But tomorrow’s too long to wait! We want to know the skinny about the Tom Cruise/ Oprah Winfrey interview now! So it’s just as well that some poor Oprah-slave has leaked out details of the interview in a not-at-all cynically pre-planned effort to boost Oprah’s ratings tomorrow.
So what hardball questions can we expect Oprah to ask Tom Cruise tomorrow? Well, according to the source, Tom is grilled on his family. And his marriage. And his views on psychiatry. And Scientology. And blah. And snore.
Oprah Winfrey wants ratings bad at the moment. It’s coming up to sweeps, you see, so Oprah’s gone all out to get as many people watching her show as possible. She’s made David Blaine hold his breath for ages, she’s reanimated the corpses of Cher and Tina Turner and, as a top-secret showstopper next week, she plans to host the second coming of Jesus Christ so she can dress him up as Miley Cyrus and give him a free car.
But the real draw of all this, of course, is the return of Tom Cruise. That’s not a surprise by now - we all know that Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s settee three years ago and then didn’t invite Oprah to his wedding and now they’re friends again because nobody likes Tom Cruise enough to let him on the telly any more. That’s old news.
And so is the news that, in the great big Tom Cruise/ Oprah Winfrey rematch, there’s a snowmobile ride that ends with Oprah having a kind of epileptic arse fantasy about Tom Cruise. So, what about the actual interview itself?
Well, the Associated Press has pulled off a bit of a coup by talking to a source who, under the cover of anonymity, has spilled all the information you could ever wish to read. Sort of:
Tom Cruise’s two-part interview on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” includes a snowmobile ride and a frank discussion of his rocky media image… a person close to the production told The Associated Press Wednesday. Cruise talks candidly with Winfrey about his personal life, said the person, who was not authorized to speak publicly about the show and requested anonymity. He discusses his childhood, life with wife Katie Holmes and their daughter Suri, Scientology and a 2005 appearance on “The Today Show” in which he criticized psychiatry and the use of anti-depressant drugs.
It’s a good job that this source requested anonymity, isn’t it? They were really putting their neck out there by basically just confirming all the stuff that everyone knew would be discussed anyway. We’re sure that if their name was ever divulged, Oprah Winfrey would personally murder them for giving away a series of tantalysing audience-hooking appetite-whetters like that.
Anyway, it looks like this interview is going to be nothing more than a nicely packaged way for an appealingly contrite Tom Cruise to rebuild all the bridges he burnt with his fans by acting like such a crazy bugger a few years ago. And, let’s be honest, it sounds kind of boring.
Still, with tomorrow’s interview out of the way, that leaves the stage set for Monday’s explosive studio interview between Tom Cruise and Oprah Winfrey, which promises to offer everything that fans of nauseating Scientologist-heavy celebrity circlejerks could ever want… and more!
Read more:
AP source: Cruise talks to Oprah about image, faith, family - AP
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May 1st, 2008 at 5:44 pm
I love Tom Cruise and I respect Scientology as I respect any onther great religion in the world and the right of the people to practice the religion they choose. It is all about freedom and respect. If you want to be respected, respect others around you.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:39 pm
If anyone can make the most oh-hum datum into a “house on fire” datum, it would be the Media. Oh Hum.
May 1st, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Joxe on you I suppose.
May 1st, 2008 at 10:02 pm
I respect all religions in the world. But Scientology isn’t a religion, it’s a ruthless global scam which flagrantly abuses its members and critics. Through tried-and-true cult tactics it seeks to gain total domination over individuals and their lives. Scientology has no members only victims.
http://www.exscientologykids.com
http://exscn.net/
http://xenu.net/
May 1st, 2008 at 11:27 pm
TERRYEO, OSA (cult of scientology black ops) shill. Terryeo will no doubt come back and deny having made the hundreds of stupid and/or cult supportive comments accross the web or he’ll be back here shortly saying its all “Big Pharma” or some such drivel but the truth of the matter is, he is a cult of scientology apologist and OSA shill, nothing more. For more about him check out http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Terryeo
May 2nd, 2008 at 12:28 am
I will never consider Scientology a religion. I really don’t feel that the IRS has the right to have the authority to tell me whether something is, or isn’t a valid religion.
The only reason the IRS conceded to classify it as such for tax purposes, is because they were harassed into it with non-stop lawsuits… and heaven knows what else as a result of Operation Snow White (the single largest infiltration of the United States government in history carried out by Scientology “Church” members, including the founder’s wife, Mary Sue Hubbard).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Snow_White
Besides, it is not even the beliefs or faith that people take issue with, but ONE of the MANY problems with this particular organization, is that scientology members don’t learn about the “religious” beliefs until they are completely mentally, personally and a few hundred thousand dollars invested into it.
Then they get to find out that their “religion’s” origin theory involves space aliens being transported to earth by an evil intergalactic warlord named Xenu (with the help of psychiatrists) in spaceships that look like airplanes, dropped into volcanoes, exploded with H-bombs, the alien “spirits” were then captured and implanted with ideas of the world’s religions before they were set free to infest our bodies which cause all of our illnesses and miseries.
I just saved you a few hundred thousand dollars. The documents on the story can be found on wikileaks, in Hubbard’s own handwriting.
Also, other religions have 1000s of years of tradition and have established cultural significance in society. Though most religions have a fairly questionable history, many have since shown that they are willing to work hard to take criticism and evolve to earn the trust of society.
Scientology, in it’s history of over 50 years, has done A LOT to earn the DISTRUST of society. It also refuses to accept criticism, dismissing it all as “persecution” and “bigotry.” If the “Church” of $cientology does not change and adapt, then Scientology cannot evolve and will therefor perish in it’s current existence.
May 2nd, 2008 at 1:46 am
Alex H: Scientology and Scientologists make constant efforts to help those around them live better lives, support numerous social betterment programs, provide aid and comfort in disasters and in every way are trying to make the world a better place. I personally know MANY Scientologists and am proud to call these people my friends. I see Scientologists rush to the sickbeds of others to assist them and support their healing. I’ve seen Scientologists go to extreme efforts to help others in need. Your insulting remarks are ludicrous in the face of these people’s actions.
May 2nd, 2008 at 9:25 am
But Merrill, are you a Scientologist yourself?
May 2nd, 2008 at 10:00 am
All right you shit-heads…
I can only hope your summer remedial maths classes were successful.
It’s just that every other blog-space on the planet has standards, so it looks like our unholy marriage isn’t dissolved quite yet.
Tom Cruise annoys me, the only thing worse than his acting and religious beliefs is that he owns a fusking movie studio. Don’t even get me started on Oprah.
May 2nd, 2008 at 10:48 am
When you say ’standards’, do you actually mean ‘court-sanctioned restraining order’?
May 2nd, 2008 at 11:08 am
Yes, but only if they can catch me…
May 2nd, 2008 at 11:53 am
ps Don’t get too excited Hecklerspray, this might well turn out to be a bit of “Sex with the ex.”
It’s fun, but leaves you with a nasty taste in your mouth next morning.
Ooh that Oprah , she has lost weight…
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Did you know:
–Scientologists are actually all the saviours and prophets from every other religion ever. Gautama Buddha? Scientologist. Moses? Scientologist. Zoroaster? Scientologist. And you better believe Jesus was a Scientologist. Interestingly, Christian prophets (according to the book of Matthew) ought to be judged, in a suspiciously empirical bent, by their accuracy. The beginning, one might say of the SCIENTIFIC method. Scientific/Scientology…..COINCIDENCE?
Yeah, probably.
–Every single person who is critical of Scientology is a criminal. All of them. Without exception. I know because I heard it from a COMPLETELY impartial person who just happens to be a Scientologist.
–JBollocks is a Scientologist. Look at the signs:
1) Goes nuts and disappears from the public eye.
2) Comes back and acts slightly conciliatory but you can still see the crazy lurking just beneath the surface.
3) Is a huge douche.
Personally I wouldn’t be surprised to find out JBollocks actually is Tom Cruise. When the story breaks in Weekly World News, remember you heard it here first.
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
To find out, all you need to do is present Tom with a mildly innacurate haiku and wait for the reaction.
It’ll be like the blood-test scene in ‘The Thing’.