If any of you have a secret crush on either Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes, then we have bad news – a) they’re not divorcing, and b) you’re quite creepy.
And, although we could write a book on all the different ways that you creep us out, right now we’ll just focus on the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes not divorcing thing. Yesterday two US gossip magazines delivered the shock news that Katie Holmes was so sick of Tom Cruise that a divorce was quietly being planned.
However, both Tom and Katie have dismissed the reports as false. So if you catch Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes making out in public and being all gross to overcompensate for these split rumours any time soon, feel free to blame the magazines. There’s probably even a lawsuit in it if they actually make you throw up.
Marriage is hard whoever you are, but the marriage between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is probably far harder than most, especially at the moment.
After all, Tom Cruise is in the middle of the biggest slump of his career. His religious views are widely mocked, his big comeback movie has been shunted to the bargain bin section of the movie calendar and the chances of him ever reaching the heady heights of the past diminish a little bit more every day. And things can’t be great for Katie Holmes, either – not only is she married to Tom Cruise, but she’s also got a haircut that makes her look a little bit like Tom Cruise. Dreadful.
So when reports came through yesterday that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were getting a divorce, it didn’t really surprise anyone. With the possible exception of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, that is – because it was apparently the first that either of them had heard about it. OK! reports:
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have dismissed reports they could be planning a trial separation as “absolutely false”… A Source told one of the magazines: “Of course Katie still loves him [Tom], but she does often feel like the little wife that has to sit there quietly and smile serenely at everything he says.” But today representatives denied the stories. A spokeswoman for Katie said: “She and her husband enjoy a close and loving relationship.” The same was said for 45-year-old Tom, whose representative said: “They are happily together. This is completely false and irresponsible reporting.”
Oh really? It’s such a close and loving relationship that they couldn’t put out a joint statement, is that it? A likely story.
Actually, we’re taking Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on their word this time. If they say that they aren’t getting splitting up, then who are we to disagree with them? Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are together and happy and that’s that.
OK, we admit it, we’re not disagreeing with them because if they really are splitting up then that gruesome three-minute kiss at their wedding was all for nothing. The last thing we want is for Tom Cruise to get divorced so he can remarry and put another helpless waif through that sort of abuse. Stick with Tom, Katie. Stick with Tom for humanity.