Well, we didn't see this one coming. Let's be honest – hardly any of you actually believe that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes actually had a baby, so the thought of a Cruise/ Holmes wedding seemed entirely out of the question.

But that goes to show how much we know – reports are suggesting that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are going to get married. Not only that, it's claimed that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will be getting married this weekend. And we've got all the proof we need – vague sightings of a tent and a hairdressing appointment. Now it's just a matter of mincing up a load of placenta to fling at Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes as a kind of bespoke confetti.

Tom Cruise must be feeling the pinch lately. Professionally his stock is low after the Mission: Impossible III box office disappointment and personally things could be going better for him, too – not only is Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt getting all the attention that Suri Cruise rightfully deserves, but Mel Gibson has swooped in and stolen Tom Cruise's crown as Hollywood's Premier Crazy with his rant about fucking Jews and Sugar Tits. Normally this much disappointment would crush a man, but Tom Cruise is made of sterner stuff. Plus he's able to fall back on his marriage to Katie Holmes at times of need.

Despite their high profile courtship, Eiffel Tower proposal and subsequent silent birth of their first baby, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have never really convinced as a genuine couple. Not to say they're not – reports of Cruise/ Holmes splits are denied all the time, but Katie Holmes is thought to be terribly depressed all the time.

Not that any of that matters, for reports are claiming that all the Buff Bride training is about to pay off – Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting married this weekend! Er, maybe. Sure, all the basis anyone has for this is the sight of a few marquees and outdoor chandeliers at the Scientology Celebrity Centre in California and a rumour that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes might be having their hair cut at the weekend, but that's good enough for whoever left this comment on MollyGood.com:

"I live in Beachwood Canyon, right up the hill from the Scientology Celebrity Centre, and there is most definitely something going on soon. I know that Tom and Katie have been there twice in the last week and now the centre is covered in tents and outdoor chandeliers. Huge planters are in the street to prevent anyone driving too close."

Of course, we've been here before – when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie steadfastly refused to get married in Italy, but we'd imagine that Katie Holmes must be itching to get married to Tom Cruise as soon as she can – after all, she did say she wanted to remain a virgin until her wedding day. Oh, hang on…

Read more:

TomKat Wedding Hints – Sky

[story by Stuart Heritage]