Mission: Impossible 3 is out soon, and we're a little worried about the level of deranged publicity that Tom Cruise has been doing; we expect more from Tom Cruise than just larking about with some Germans, you know.
So thank Xenu for the idea Tom Cruise has dreamed up for the Mission: Impossible 3 premiere in New York. Not one for strolling up a red carpet when he could set his back on fire and parachute through the cinema roof, Tom Cruise has announced that for the Mission: Impossible 3 premiere, he'll bomb across New York on six different forms of transport.
Tom Cruise all but owns the patent on batshit publicity stunts. If he's not jumping on a couch, he's jumping on a chair. If he's not shouting at women with post-partum depression, he's putting up posters to remind his pregnant girlfriend to stay quiet during childbirth. If he's not telling water-squirters that they are jerks, he's getting sued by stuntmen with blistered penises. And, face it, all of these can only come from the brain of an unstoppable genius.
And Tom Cruise isn't letting us down with Mission: Impossible 3. Sure, divving about on German TV was a bit of a low-key way to start proceedings, but everything is going to come together for the Mission: Impossible 3 premiere at the New York Tribeca film festival. Following a spot on TRL at the MTV building on May 3, Tom Cruise will zigzag across New York on a motorcycle, speedboat, taxi, helicopter, sports car and subway before arriving at the premiere. Paula Wagner, Tom Cruise’s producing partner, announced the stunt by saying:
“Tom has always enjoyed finding new ways to connect with the fans and we’re both excited to be sharing the movie with them on this incredible stage.”
All of which will make the Mission: Impossible 3 premiere a must-see event, we're sure, especially the unannounced finale: on the red carpet, after ten minutes of his trademark grinning "Are you talking to your Mom on the phone? Hand it over, lemme say hi," red carpet shtick, Tom Cruise will get a surprise phonecall.
"What's that? Katie's having it now?" he'll say, before a panting, labour-stricken Katie Holmes gets airlifted down onto the red carpet, where Tom Cruise will single-handedly deliver the baby before triumphantly holding it aloft with one arm in front of the world's media. In total silence, naturally.
Hooray! Piano handstands for everyone!
[story by Stuart Heritage]