Tom Brady and Gisele have had a baby boy, and you’re right to be envious. That little kid’s got everything.
From both of his parents he’s got good looks. From Tom Brady he’s got sporting prowess. And from Gisele he’s got the ability to earn offensive amounts of money by standing around in a sparkly bra with a glum look on his face. Truly, the Tom Brady/ Gisele baby is unstoppable.
Let’s just pray that this little boy never meets and falls in love with Shiloh Nouvel Jolie Pitt. A baby that mixes the genetics of Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Tom Brady and Gisele would probably bring about the end of the world. Or get a fairly lucrative job modelling for magazines. One or the other.
Now we know that it’s usually traditional to congratulate the mother on the birth of a child, but that’s not what we’re going to do. True, Gisele might have spent the last nine months of her life with a little human being draining nutrients from her body. And, true, Gisele might have just had said human removed from her body in a procedure that’s as savage as it is painful. But it’s Tom Brady who needs to be congratulated here.
So good work, Tom! You made it all the way through a pregnancy without leaving the mother of your child for a younger woman! You’re number one! You’re number one! We knew you’d be able to do it in the end. We’re so proud of you, Tom Brady.
In fact, it’s better than that. Tom Brady actually held a press conference yesterday. And not to announce that he was planning to leave Gisele because pregnancy makes women get all fat and gross and stuff, either, which was frankly a surprise, given his track record. This time, Tom Brady wanted to talk about his newborn baby son and specifically pay tribute to Gisele, who has just been through what is probably one of the most traumatic experiences of her life. Usmagazine reports:
He announced the birth at a press conference Wednesday, calling it “a wonderful experience in my life.”
OK, thanks for that. Now we know how the baby has affected your life. And how’s Gisele doing?
“I told her…no Sundays,” the New England Patriots quarterback joked to ESPN about when she could give birth.
Come on, Tom. Say one nice thing about the mother of your child.
“Let’s talk football.”
You’re a lucky woman, Gisele. That Tom Brady’s a keeper.
But, hey, that baby boy won’t need a naturally compassionate father with the DNA he’s got. Genetically speaking, that boy is a racehorse. He’s going to have a perfectly symmetrical face, a chiselled jawline, teeth that are whiter than fresh alpine snow, eyes that sparkle like heaven itself and surprisingly perky tits. The world is that boy’s oyster.
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Sandy says
To the man who flaunted being with Giselle while his former girlfriend was pregnant. Real classy Tom & Gisele.
Stewie is a good name for their bundle of joy, especially with his father the “Family Guy.”
lame says
gisele is pretty from the neck down. Bridget is a beauty.