Timberlake is a Mummy’s Boy

We’d like to think that Justin Timberlake (CDs) took a break from dancing around like a fidgety man who needs the toilet to let out a big “Aw, mom!” when he heard about this wheezer.

Only marginally less embarrassing than your mum marching down the school to have a word about ‘that nasty girl’ who always steals your lunch money, Timbers’ mother is going to write a book about his life instead.

Lynn Harless (what, you thought her surname would be Timberlake?) has got proper upset over the mean things said about her son and has decided to get his public image sorted once and for all.

"It will set the record straight. It hurts to read so many lies about him." Lynn commented.

One to rival I-Spy Numbers? Gotta say we’re not optimistic.

A pleasant rose-tinted diversion through Timbers’ days as little a broccoli stem in dungarees. His brilliant rise to power as one of music’s most racially confused stereotypes (see Anastasia for a female variation) and his final journey into manhood and credible hair at the tender age of 24.

A Kitty Kelley (Books) biog, this won’t be. The best that fans can hope for is the inclusion of some embarrassing childhood pics of Justin bodypopping in the nude or tipping a plant pot over his head.

Timbers has always been close to his mum. Just a couple of months back Lynn was reputed to have talked him out of an early marriage to Cameron Diaz (DVDs) because she felt he wasn’t ready to settle down.

"We have a very special relationship” said Justin.

He’s not kidding. Any man who’d have his mum’s initials tattooed onto his back has something very special indeed.

Maybe that book will have some more juicy stuff in it after all. Hang on, isn’t Justin a Greek name…?

No, it’s Latin. Our bad.

[story by Chris Laverty]