Oh, didn’t we mention? Tim Burton might be directing Pirates Of The Caribbean 4. It’s just a rumour for now, but Disney is thought to want to retain Burton’s services after he’s finished with Alice In Wonderland if Pirates Of The Caribbean director Gore Verbinski gets bored of it all.
Of course, hiring Tim Burton for Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 might seem like something of a risk, but it really isn’t – after all, Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 went on for about 15 hours and couldn’t have made any less sense if it was an East European claymation film about the inside of a twig, so there’s genuinely nothing that Tim Burton could do that would bugger the series up any further.
God, but Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 was rubbish, wasn’t it? It genuinely had nothing going for it – it was overlong, over-complicated and pointlessly saddled in its own mythology. Between Johnny Depp doing his funny run for the millionth time, Keira Knightley‘s continued assumption that she’s funnier than she actually is and Keith Richards‘ cameo as a terminally-ill walnut, audiences everywhere were praying that someone would take the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise outside and put it out of its misery.
But it made money so, somewhat inevitably, there’s going to be a Pirates Of The Caribbean 4. It was always on the cards, what with Johnny Depp’s publicy-confessed kinship with Captain Jack Sparrow, but now it’s official.
Just the other week Johnny Depp signed a deal promising him more money than there actually is in the world to star in Pirates Of The Caribbean 4, and it’s all go. Except for one thing – who’ll direct Pirates Of The Carribean 4?
Chances are it’ll be Gore Verbinski, the director of the first three movies, but given that he’ll probably strangle himself to death on all the film’s ridiculous storylines within the first fortnight of pre-production, Disney has lined up an alternative in the wings – Tim Burton. Cinemablend reports:
If there is a single director who could make people excited for a fourth Pirates movie, it has to be Burton. He’s done so many amazing movie with Depp already, and might have the ability to make the new franchise as fresh and exciting as it was when the first movie came out. After all, Tim Burton is already making a movie for Disney, and if Alice in Wonderland is going well, you can see how they’d want to hang on to him.
Tim Burton might not be the obvious choice to direct Pirates Of The Caribbean 4, but it could definitely work. After all, with Charlie And The Chocolate Factory and the new Alice in Wonderland movie, Tim Burton has proved that he can make idiosyncratic family movies.
True, with Planet Of The Apes Tim Burton also proved that he could make films almost as bad as Pirates Of The Caribbean 3, but let’s try and put that out of our minds for the time being.
In fact, we’re positive that Tim Burton is going to make one of the best films of the series in Pirates Of The Caribbean 4. That’s because either Sacha Baron Cohen or Russell Brand is apparently being lined up to play Johnny Depp’s brother in the movie, and either of them would be a good foil.
But more importantly, though, Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 is going to be great because Orlando Bloom‘s probably not going to be in it. With that in mind, Uwe Boll could direct Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 with his arse on a set made of runny shit and it’d still be better than any of the others.