Tiffany Haddish is one of my favorite people in Hollywood atm. She’s funny as hell, doesn’t seem even remotely affected by her fame, and let the world know that some crazy bitch on drugs BIT Beyonce. All in all, I think she’s pretty great.
Aside from liking her, I can now also say that I relate to Tiffany very much. She recently did an interview and explained exactly how she put the moves on Leonardo DiCaprio, and I feel like a lot of us can relate to her style.
While the 20-year-old models Leo usually dates probably woo him by letting him know that they weren’t actually born when he filmed What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Tiffany took a much better approach, as she explains:
Yeah, I met him at a party two, three months ago, and I asked him if he’d let me hit that. He’s like ‘Tiffany, you’re so funny.’ I’m like, ‘I’m serious.’ And then he goes, ‘I mean, I’d do it, but…”
I was like ‘Come on, wasn’t you in a squad? The coochie squad or something?’
I told him ‘My only stipulation: I wanna do it with you as your character in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.‘ He starts bustin’ up laughing’. ‘Why?’ he asks, and I say, ‘Cause I feel like that performance deserves a reward and that reward is this (gestures to her own body).’
First of all, Tiffany Haddish and I are clearly on the same page when it comes to hitting on men. I once tried to seduce Sean Penn and told him my only stipulation was he had to do it as his character from I Am Sam.
Ok, that isn’t true, but I like her up front attitude.
Second of all, it’s the pussy posse, not the coochie squad, but I’ll forgive her for not knowing that.
And finally, I respect Tiffany for even trying that shit, because I’m sure she knows Leo doesn’t put his dick in anyone over 110lbs, over 25, and not white. Not to say that Leo’s dick is ageist and racist, buttttt…..I appreciate her effort.
Shawn D. says
It just BURNS 30 and 40-something women UP that Leo can score young, sexy women. They obsess over it, and I can only assume they get all lathered up about it because they fear their man dumping them for younger women. I’ve been married to the same woman for 30 years. I love her, wouldn’t ever leave her for a younger woman, and still find her beautiful and sexy.
That being said, I can celebrate Leo smashing that young stuff and still celebrate my 56-year-old wife the same way I can celebrate the idiots that cliff dive. Love to watch it, ain’t doin’ it. I’m okay with sexy, older women dating young men all cougar-style. It doesn’t frighten me, and I don’t obsess over it like so many middle-aged women do over Leo’s young proclivities.
It will be okay. Your husband isn’t Leo Decaprio. He cannot score young, hot, sexy, tight, super model with perky tits. He wouldn’t, even if he could, because he knows he is not Leo Decaprio and though he might get lucky and smash a young hottie, he isn’t going to hold onto her, and frankly he wouldh’t want to, because Leo’s life (though it might be fun for a month or so) looks exhausting. After a couple months, I would fold and start crashing in front of the sofa watching Netflix while my young, hot little filly whined and complained because I won’t go dancing five days a week.
My younger brother said something very profound to me when we were both still in our early 20’s (I’m now 56, so consider the time period to this quote). He said, “Somebody, somewhere is tired of f**king Claudia Schiffer.” I’ve never forgotten that quote, and it is even more profound today than it was when I seriously wanted to f**k Claudia Schiffer. Point being, no matter how fine, young and tight a woman is, you will get tired of f**king her and the converse of that truism is just as relevant. Your woman is going to get tired of smashing your dumb ass as well. So you BETTER have more to your relationship than just sex, or you’ll break up about 5 minutes after you get tired of f**king each other.
Thankfully, though I am tired of f**king my wife, I love the daylights out of her and I still enjoy f**king her nonetheless. We have to get all novel and crazy about it to keep it interesting, and we get tired of each new craziness we try, but we keep smashing and putting up with each other’s total stupidity and I don’t long to live Leo’s crazy lifestyle just so I can hold a pair of non-saggy tits for 20 minutes (come on, no guy is going to last more than 20 minutes smashing Camila Morrone, at least not the first time).
So, older broads, put down the pitchforks as it pertains to Leo and his fondness for young tightness. The 21-year-olds come with a WHOLE new set of problems, that your comfortable-as-an-old-shoe selves don’t, and we are DAMN GLAD you don’t.
PS Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t like some young dick yourselves. Especially if that boy toy could go down on you for more than 10 minutes without collapsing and whining about a jaw cramp. Just try to get that boy toy to get all excited about a day at Ikea and watching you try on 57 pairs of shoes, just to buy the first damn pair you tried on. Mmmmmk?