Thom Yorke Not Such A Fan Of EMI

Thom Yorke is a happy soul - his hobbies include puppy-stroking and riding around meadows on a bicycle going "Wheeeee" - but EMI seems to have somehow done the impossible and made Thom Yorke a bit miserable.

Thom Yorke and EMI boss Guy Hands are in the middle of a war of words about why Radiohead left the record label. According to Hands, Radiohead wanted a £10 million advance for In Rainbows and control of their old albums, while Thom Yorke is claiming that the band just wanted to make sure their back catalogue was treated correctly. The emotional impact of this public bickering is thought to have already taken its toll on Thom Yorke, and has made him ditch plans for his forthcoming Europop collaboration with Same Difference from X Factor called A Very Merry Radiohead Party Fun Time.

As planet Earth's most sensitive wonky-eyed warbler, Thom Yorke feels things way more than you ever will. You know that time you were on a bus and the man sitting next to you coughed and didn't cover his mouth and you felt the cough-air touch your hand? You remember that you didn't think much of it afterwards? Well the same thing happened to Thom Yorke in the early nineties and he wrote The Bends about it. All of it. Ask him, it's true.

So just imagine the pain that Thom Yorke felt when Guy Hands, head of Radiohead's old record label EMI, spoke to newspapers about Radiohead leaving the company because they were being greedy and wanted £10 million to fit a stripper's pole, a foam machine and a constant supply of coked-out prostitutes in their studio, or something.

OK, that's not strictly true - Guy Hands said that Radiohead wanted a £3 million advance, a £3 million international marketing budget for In Rainbows, and the rights to a couple of old Radiohead albums that would have cost EMI £4 million in future earnings. And Hands says he couldn't commit to that deal, knowing that every penny that Radiohead got was a penny that KT Tunstall would miss, causing Radiohead to throw a tantrum and leave.

But Thom Yorke doesn't quite see it that way. Taking to the Radiohead website this week, Thom Yorke gave his side of the story:

we did not ask for a load of cash from our old record label EMI to re- sign. that is a L I E. The Times in the UK should check its facts before it prints such dirt. whAT we WANTED WAS some control over OUR WOrK and how it was used in the future by them-that seemed REASONAblE to us, as we cared about it a great deal. Mr Hands was not interested. So neither were we. We made the sign of the cross and walked away. Sadly. We are extremely upset that this crap is being spread about. To bedigging up such bullshit, or more politely airing yer dirty laundry in public, seems a very strange way for the head of an international record label to be proceeding. 

Obviously we're going to side with Thom Yorke here, for the simple reason that his crazy writing style makes us think that he's possibly left comments on hecklerspray before.

And anyway, what's all this fuss about in the first place? Radiohead leaving EMI has been the best thing for everyone - by releasing In Rainbows on the internet Radiohead became more relevant than they have in a decade, everyone got to buy In Rainbows for nothing and EMI has got more time to devote to Sheena Easton now. Everyone's a winner here. Especially Sheena Easton. And isn't that the main thing?

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F Y I_____ if you care - Radiohead