This year’s edition of X Factor is already in trouble. Dannii Minogue has legged it to have a facially-immobile baby.

Cheryl Cole has got malaria. Her replacement – that Pussycat Dolls woman – has a surname that you can’t pronounce without sounding as if you’re drowning on your own saliva. Simon Cowell‘s teeth have now become so bright that people can only view them indirectly through a pinhole camera. And Louis Walsh, tragically, is still Louis Walsh. But, hey, at least the contestants are OK, right?

What? They all got so drunk in a Premier Inn recently that the riot police were called when they started smashing everything up and dancing around the car park in the nude? Awesome.

The biggest fear going into X Factor 2010 is that we’ll end up with another Jedward or, worse, another Whatever His Name Is Who Won Last Year, You Know The One With The Teeth. But those fears have now been allayed. By the sound of it, this year’s X Factor is mostly going to be full of Emily Nakandas.

Oh, you remember Emily Nakanda. She was the adorable teenager with the golden voice and, unfortunately, the friends who liked to make videos of her violently attacking other people and then upload them to YouTube. Emily Nakanda was awesome.

Anyway, we bring up Emily Nakanda because of how this year’s X Factor contestants reacted when they were told they’d made it through to the boot camp stage. Did they shriek with joy? Did they dance around in a generally obnoxious, attention-seeking way? Did they eulogise a dead relative for hours at a time, knowing that the X Factor producers would eventually set it to Fix You by Coldplay to highlight humanity’s indomitable spirit and make millions of fat idiots cry into their takeaways?

Not quite. Instead they got shithammered on booze and smashed up a Wembly chain hotel. Metro reports:

Staff at the Premier Inn in Wembley eventually had to call the police after other guests complained when a five-hour drinking session got completely out of hand. The group of hopefuls are said to have smashed up a door, signs and pictures, and danced naked in the car park. A source said: “They were like wild animals. The police arrived in full riot gear because things were so extreme.

If you ask us, this is excellent news. We’ve always said that X Factor needed to be more like Boozed Up Brits Abroad, and now it is. The trick will be extending this behaviour to the live shows – imagine how brilliant it’d be to watch someone sing a rendition of The Greatest Love Of All crying, covered in puke and attempting to throw pieces of plastic garden furniture through an elaborately-constructed shop window set, as dancers dressed as riot police try and stop them with a high-powered water jet. You’d watch that, wouldn’t you? Of course you would.

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Tagged as: drunk, Simon Cowell, X Factor