I go out of town for the long Labor Day weekend, and all three Kardashian sisters make the news. Of fucking course. Between Kim maybe banging Drake, to Khloe maybe getting married, to Kourtney maybe getting back together with her younger boy toy, the original spawns of Kris Jenner have really been pimping out the shitty new season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
Let’s start with Kris’ original favorite child a.k.a Kimberly Kardashian West, who some have speculated is the “Kiki” Drake is rapping about in “In My Feelings” (Just a heads up, I don’t buy that for a second).
Twitter, for some reason, has been speculating that the beef between Drake and Kanye West stems from an affair Drake had with Kim, which he’s allegedly been suggesting at via song for a while now. Even Kim’s former slam piece, Nick Cannon, thinks the rumor kind of makes sense since, well, you know how the KarJenners feel about rappers. Kim was quick to comment on The Shade Room post about it, simply stating that it wasn’t true and never happened.
While I only believe a small portion of the shit the Kardashians and Jenners say, I don’t really think Kim and Drake ever hooked up. I like to think that, given my vast knowledge of the Kardashian’s sex lives, this is one of those things I would’ve figured out by now.
Moving along, Khloe and her wandering dick baby daddy, Tristan Thompson, seem to be fully reconciled, and she’s even posting sweet pics of them together on her app again. According to Us Weekly, things are so good that the two are discussing marriage. I think Khloe should just bite the bullet on this one and marry Tristan. I mean, they’ve got a kid together, and ok, yes, he cheated on her while she was pregnant, but like I’ve said before, at least he didn’t cheat on her AND do crack like Lamar. Take this win, girl.
Finally, there’s my favorite Kardashian, Kourtney. Her ass and face don’t weird me out and I really appreciate that about her. Kourtney broke up with her much younger boyfriend Younes just over a month ago, but once again, according to Us Weekly, they’ve allegedly rekindled their romance and are happily back together.
So, Kim didn’t fuck Drake, but people think she maybe did, Khloe’s boyfriend definitely fucked other women, but she’ll probably marry him anyway, and Kourtney is back to riding that 25-year-old dick.
Hope everyone had a great long weekend!