The Streets Nominated For Two Terrible Awards

The Ivor Novello award nominations for this year have been announced.

Don’t expect any shocks, because the Novellos are always the most conservative music awards in the whole universe. In theory, they reward songwriting. But in reality, they reward whoever sell the most records. Here’s the hecklerspray rundown…

This year, the nominations for Best Song Musically And Lyrically are:

The Streets  - Dry Your Eyes

Keane  - Everybody’s Changing

Natasha Bedingfield  - These Words

hecklerspray would rather ram
knitting needles up our noses than ever vote for Keane, and we’re
equally sick of that Streets song. So, for want of a better winner,
we’ll go with horse-faced git Bedingfield, even though we think we
heard that song on a DIY shop advert the other day. And we haven’t ever
really heard it properly.

For Best Contempory Song:

Wolfman feat. Pete Doherty - For Lovers

Franz Ferdinand  - Take Me Out

The Streets - Blinded By The Lights

Our choice here would be Franz Ferdinand. Blinded By The Lights
isn’t an accurate description of someone on ecstasy, it’s some bloke
talking arse over bad house music. And we like the Junkie Pete song,
too. We just don’t like Junkie Pete.

For International Hit Of The Year, we must choose from:

Limp Bizkit  – Behind Blue Eyes

Band Aid 20  – Do They Know It’s Christmas

U2 – Vertigo

Picking a winner here is like picking the type of vehicle you want
to be run over by. The makers of Band Aid managed to foul-up an already
rubbish song, and we still can’t get Fred Durst’s ghastly sex face out of our minds. So we’ll back U2. But we’ll deny it if you ask us.

And finally, Best Selling UK Single:

Michelle McManus – All This Time

Band Aid 20 – Do They Know It’s Christmas

Eric Prydz – Call On Me

Oh Jesus…

The awards take place on May 26.

Disagree with us? Agree with us so much you want to marry us? Let us know.

More Novello nonsense here

[story by Stuart Heritage]