The Spice Girls reunion tour sold out almost instantly when tickets went on sale – although, obviously, if the public knew the show would contain a medley of Geri Halliwell solo tunes, not even Geri's mother would have wanted a ticket.
And she's apparently not the only one. It's been reported that the Spice Girls are at loggerheads ahead of their big reunion tour at the end of the year, over whether or not they'll include songs from each of their solo careers. Geri Halliwell is reportedly hell-bent on honking out a medley of her solo songs slap-bang in the middle of the concert – something that Victoria Beckham is dead against because it'll put pressure on her to perform a solo medley as well. And the last thing Victoria Beckham wants is to stand in the middle of a cavernous stage droning Out Of Your Mind and Not Such An Innocent Girl in front of everyone like a bored Woolworths Saturday girl. In other news, Victoria Beckham has just had her first sensible thought.
We could be wrong here, but we're just starting to see why the Spice Girls reunion didn't happen for Live 8 or for their tenth anniversary or when Nelson Mandela asked them to reform or for the Princess Diana concert – it's because they really don't seem to like each other very much at all. And, in particular, nobody seems to like Geri Halliwell. But, hey, what else is new.
The problem seems to be that Geri Halliwell is still under the vague illusion that she's still a gigantic superstar, even though she's actually a squat, almost middle-aged single mother with unfortunate hair and a habit of banging on about girl power a full decade after even the most gormless, doll-stroking eight-year-old girl realised that it was little more than an empty husk of a marketing slogan. And, as Metro reports, Geri Halliwell's ego has meant that she's annoying everyone by demanding that the upcoming Spice Girls reunion tour should be jam-packed with Geri Halliwell solo hits like It's Raining Men, Mi Chico Latino and the theme tune to that godawful children's book she's writing:
Geri Halliwell and Victoria Beckham have reportedly fallen out over certain aspects of the forthcoming Spice Girls tour. The duo are said to be at loggerheads over various matters – including the option of singing their own material, reports Star magazine. Geri wants to sing a medley of her hits such as It's Raining Men and Lift Me Up – but Posh is against the idea. An insider told the mag: "Victoria is adamant she won't do it. When she signed up, one major stipulation was that she will not sing solo."
And who can blame Victoria Beckham for not wanting to sing solo – compared to the other Spice Girls', admittedly meagre, solo offerings, Victoria Beckham's easily stands out as the weakest, with just thee vaguely underperforming singles released since the Spice Girls split up. Plus, as well as being embarrassing for Victoria Beckham, who'd really want to hear a Victoria Beckham solo medley anyway? Aside from obvious voice problems, the move would also increase chances of Dane Bowers turning up and singing Out Of Your Mind with her each night. And we're fucked if we're going to stand by and let Dane Bowers get famous again.
The fact is that Victoria Beckham hasn't really focused on music since the end of the Spice Girls. And, with the possible exception of Mel C, nor have any of the other Spice Girls. But that needn't stop them from each having a solo section in the middle of each show. Let Mel C and Geri Halliwell sing their solo tunes if they want, but only if Emma Bunton can ballroom dance by herself while some pigs chase Victoria Beckham around and various cast-members of Norbit knock Mel B up live on stage right in front of everyone. Now that's a show worth seeing.