By now even the world’s most mild-mannered person is so sick of hearing about The Oscars that even the vaguest, most cryptic reference to Kate Winslet’s frock is enough to spark off violent killing sprees – and The Razzies are the antidote to all that.

Popping all the smug, self-satisfied ‘Blood Diamond made the world a better place, you know’ smarming that goes hand in hand with The Oscars with impeccable timing, The Razzies took place on Saturday night. Charged with picking out the worst movies and performances that Hollywood is capable of making, this year was one of the most controversial Razzies ceremonies of all time – in short, The Razzies decided that Sharon Stone and Basic Instinct 2 were worse than Nicolas Cage and The Wicker Man, even though one of those movies features a bee-fearing policeman dressed up as a bear punching a woman in the face and the other one has boobies in it.