Firstly, an apology for that headline. ‘Hops’. Honestly, that was lazy of us. But at least we didn’t go for ‘leapfrogs’.

It was a close-run thing. But anyway, this isn’t news – the news is that The Princess And The Frog is the number one movie at the weekend box office. It’s an important film, too, because every cell was hand-drawn by Walt Disney himself, using the very same felt-tip pen that once wrote the Magna Carta. Or something. We weren’t really paying attention. Still, it’s an important film, OK?

That said, we still don’t know what The Princess And The Frog is about. We have a feeling it’s about a duchess and a zebra, but don’t quote us on that.

You’ve got to love Disney, haven’t you? This year has seen the start of the 3D revolution, with everything from Up to Avatar to Final Destination 4 being presented in such crystal clear digital 3D that a trip to the cinema has become more immersive than ever before, and the main marketing point for Disney’s new film The Princess And The Frog is that it’s less 3D than any of its films for five whole years.

Because The Princess And The Frog is completely 2D, you see. It’s all drawn with pens and pencils, like the sort of cartoons your grandparents probably watched. And it’s the US weekend box office number one, too. To maximise on this new hunger for nostalgia, we heard that next year Disney plans to release a new movie that’s animated by an old Victorian phenakistoscope. And then it’ll bring out a film that’s just a bunch of cave paintings. Or whatever. Here’s the US weekend box office top five…

1 - The Princess And The Frog (It’s no secret how this film ends. The princess kisses the frog and then ends up contracting an acute case of gastroenteritis from an inter-species transmission of the Campylobacter pathogen. It’s a tale as old as time) $25,000,000

2 - The Blind Side (Still doing well, even though it’s a Sandra Bullock film that doesn’t involve a number of hilarious crossed wires culminating in an unlikely love affair. We though those were banned after Premonition) $14,450,000

3 - Invictus (Hasn’t done as well as The Blind Side because a) it’s about rugby and not American football, b) it’s a recreation of an important cultural and political moment in a country’s history and not a sappy, slightly manipulative heart-warmer and c) people want to perv on Sandra Bullock’s bottom and not Nelson Mandela‘s) $9,085,000

4 - New Moon (Oh, hurry up and get to the film where the vampire bites through Bella‘s womb, already) $8,000,000

5 - A Christmas Carol (We could be wrong, but we’re starting to think that A Christmas Carol has been in the weekend box office top five since about April. Do something about that, please) $6,871,000

Follow hecklerspray on Twitter