OK – good news and bad news. The bad news is that The Police have announced a brand new world tour, so Sting's big smug face will be even more ubiquitous than usual this year – but the good news is he'll be too busy to play his effing lute any more.
At their special concert at the Whisky-A-Go-Go in Los Angeles yesterday – which really turned out to be four songs and a bit of a natter with Sting and the other two – The Police revealed that they're going to embark upon a world tour starting in America from May this year. But why did Sting decide to reform The Police now? Was it nostalgia? Fun? A chance to show how critically relevant The Police still are? Or might it have something to do with the hundreds of millions of dollars that a world tour will earn them? Maybe we'll never know.
The Police are merrily going around rubbing other bands' noses in it at the moment. Even though it basically consisted of a 56-year-old man, a 55-year-old man and a 65-year-old man playing a song about a prostitute, The Police's big comeback performance was the highlight of The Grammys, and that's not something you could say about other newly-reformed bands like James or Crowded House.
So far The Police reunion has consisted of an initial announcement, a burst of Roxanne at The Grammys and a half-show half-writing contest in LA, but that's not enough to help Sting buy another seven houses and so yesterday the inevitable happened – The Police announced a world tour, as Variety reports:
Thirteen dates of the tour — including stops at Madison Square Garden on Aug. 1 and 3 and Boston's Fenway Park on July 28 — were announced along a planned route: North America in the summer; England and Europe in September and October; and a return to North America in late October, followed by Mexico, South America, Australia, New Zealand and Japan… Tickets will be priced at $225, $90 and $50, with an average price of $100. Opening North American portion of the tour should easily gross $50 million, based on the announcement of the 27 cities included in the first leg.
$50 million isn't bad work for three blokes playing 30-year-old songs a handful of times, and it's vastly preferable to what members of The Police were doing before – soundtracking Star Wars spin-off cartoon series Droids and judging bad celebrity singing contests (Stewart Copeland), soundtracking Weekend At Bernie's and professionally being quite old (Andy Summers) and wanking about on a lute that most people wanted to wrap around his big smug neck and possibly having banjo-heavy marriage problems (Sting). But even though reforming The Police was Sting's chance to be a bit less smug for once, he couldn't help it – telling the Whisky crowd:
"There's no reason we should not be 25 years better — and we were good before."
Luckily Stewart Copeland managed to be less smug during his enthusiastic explanation of the reformation:
"When we were young, we were out to conquer the world. Now we are happy fathers of many. I just like playing my drums and following Sting's lead. We don't have an agenda now."
The agenda-free Please Sting Please Don't Make Me Judge Another Series Of Just The Two Of Us I'll Even Pretend To Like You If You Don't Make Me Judge Another Series Of Just The Two Of Us Police world tour kicks off in Vancouver on May 28.