Man, rock stars are petrifying, with their tight leather trousers, their big greasy hair styles, and their hungry, sexual tongues.
Oh, and they like drugs too. Like them so damn much. Now close your eyes and picture them in your mind’s eye, sitting there, with their piles of heroin and their electric guitars still switched on in the background. Possibly with their underpants pulled right down. It’s a terrifying sight isn’t it?
With that in mind, we thought it high time we compile the most devastatingly crazy rock band of all time…
On drums… Dave Rowntree from Blur
This maniac has been playing drums in the British rock band Blur ever since they tore onto the scene in the late 80s, or early 90s – we’re not sure – with a song about how boring and stupid grown ups can be sometimes. He notoriously kept a stony arm-crossed silence during the hysterical war of words with the Manchester nancies in Oasis – named after a watery illusion in the desert. And these days he can be found studying to be a lawyer. Mothers, lock up your daughters, because he also has a keen interest in computer graphics.
On bass… Guy Berryman from Coldplay
As everyone knows, on bass is where the really berserk characters live. Sid Vicious, the Irish one in U2, beardy wotsisname in New Order. But we’ve gone for the madman on bass in Coldplay, Guy Berryman. He sometimes oscillates between almost having a beard, and not having a beard, and he once left his bandmates behind for a bit so that he could work on a wild collaboration with Magne Furuholmen, the crazy one from A-Ha. Back when he was just another tearaway at university, he switched from studying Engineering to do Architecture. Bonkers.
On guitar… Jonny Greenwood from Radiohead
The guitarist in a band provides the thrashing rockness essential to a rock song, and they don’t come much more aggressive than Jonny from Radiohead – a fierce rock and roll animal who at one stage needed an arm brace to protect his strumming arm, because of a repetitive strain injury. Danger fans will be petrified to note that he is seriously red/green colourblind, and he has composed several pieces for the BBC Concert Orchestra. The rabid hound also plays viola.
And on vocals… Tom Chaplin from Keane
With all of the barking maniacs backing him up, you’re going to need a snarling beast up front, and they don’t come much more shocking and sexual than Tom Chaplin – former choirboy turned former choirboy. This absolute monster spent his gap year in South Africa before heading off to the violent city of Edinburgh to study Art History, and now he’s a fearsome singer in a sexy rock band called Keane. He lost a lot of weight in The Priory once.
Like this, do you? Then you’d better look at Josh’s website Interestment, hadn’t you?