The Lynx Clicker. Who The Hell Would Want One?

By 586 MEDIA on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 at 11:00am35 Comments


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Ben_affleck_lynx_clicker_advert
It’s a scene we’ve all grown aware of: Ben Affleck – complete with all three of his facial expressions – going about his day getting all kinds of female attention, to be trumped by a lift attendant who smells like a schoolboy.

We’d almost forgotten how much the Lynx ad annoyed us until we saw it at the movies, on a big, inescapable screen. There he is, the smarmy looking guy with his all American good looks, wearing a gooberish smile on his face as he gleefully counts each attractive woman’s curious glance on his clicker.

Why did Ben Affleck (DVDs) agree to do the Lynx advert? Is he still hurting from
that old South Park episode? The one that coined the nickname ‘Ben
Assfleck’ and chose to dedicate the whole episode to his ‘ass chin’ –
arguably his strongest feature – and creating the legend that he
inherited said chin from parents who had asses for heads.

Well, whether or not he’s seen it, Ben Affleck is still the perfect guy
to cast in this unbelievably annoying and patronising ad for the best
invention since Global Hypercolour T-shirts and pheromone spray – the
Lynx clicker.

When you first see the Lynx advert you’re thinking – as if Ben Affleck could get any of those hot girls in real life! Yeah, we know J Lo had her reasons but even that seemed wrong… if we saw someone using a clicker to ‘rate their pulling power’,
regardless of what they smelt like, we’d probably point and laugh. The guy in the lift has more clicks because he’s using it for work Ben, you
dumbass. Does Lynx make people stupider now? No, that’s just the
acting. And why are they looking at you anyway, Ben? Because you’re holding a fuckin’
clicker, that’s why!

Yes, the Lynx clicker may have many uses – a security blanket for the super
geeky, a life-affirming mojo counter for the underconfident (or
supremely arrogant), or anyone with a nervous twitch; a gift for the man who thinks he has everything. Ideal for
those suffering from self esteem issues, ass chin afflictions or crap
celebrity status.

Does anyone out there actually own a Lynx clicker? And if so, have you found a
better use for it, or been beaten up for using it in public? Worse
still, have you had the time or inclination to watch that Har Mar
Superstar
clicker programme or website, or whatever it is they’re
throwing at us? If so, come forward and with your confessions now.

Watch the Ben Affleck Lynx clicker advert now


[story by Dedee W]

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