All Aboard The High School Musical 4 Bus

By Shawn Lindseth on Wednesday, March 4, 2009 at 3:00pm2 Comments


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If you are anything like hecklerspray then your high school experience can be summed up with just a few words: plague-like bloody diarrhoea, ultra massive steroid use, and posing nude so the seniors can properly take their anatomy final.

There was never any spontaneous singing though – and a good thing too, because that would have been super gay – like East High gay. Speaking of which – you know how there’s been a pleasant calm in the world since everyone everywhere knows the cast graduated, and so can’t make any more sequels?

Well no more – Disney has just committed to HSM4.

Well Disney’s just signed on to make High School Musical 4 – but don’t worry because they know that the three they’ve already delivered have been largely regarded as unacceptable by anyone who’s not a blind or deaf woman.

To resolve this issue the next instalment is going to be sci-fi and set one billion years in the future. Everyone will still sing, but the song topics will revolve around how the sun is expanding into a red giant, and how are the kids gonna save their gymnasium from getting swallowed by it. The gym, incidentally, is where they took state like 1000 years in a row. That’s why they’re all so attached.

Don’t expect to see Vanessa Hudgens in a skin-tight, tin foil space suit though – the cast will be all new. Also don’t actually expect to see outer space at all. What you can expect is this – we peeled it off of Reuters:

“Walt Disney Co’s teen hit franchise “High School Musical” is coming back for a fourth time — but with a new cast of characters, the company said on Tuesday. “High School Musical 4″ will debut on the Disney Channel in 2010 — marking a return to its original cable home after the third instalment danced into movie theaters in 2008. Disney Channel said in a statement the story would feature a music- and dance-filled love triangle set against cross-town rivalry between fictional high schools in Albuquerque, N.M.”

Notice any talk of laser swords and space monsters is conspicuously absent. That’s pretty lame if you ask us. Still though – the script can’t be finalized yet. Lets throw some donkeys with jet-packs in there or something. They could maybe be on a quest to save their robot queen – that plot would really write itself.

Just do it, stupid writers.

Why people even make movies without laser swords, space monsters and jet-packing mules is beyond us. For instance, think of how much better HSM 3 would have been if Troy had to chop everyone at his prom in half real quick because a weird looking lizard beast was hiding inside of a classmate.

Had that been the case, Slumdog Millionaire probably wouldn’t be getting so much press right now.

With that, we think you’ll probably agree.

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