The Game Plan Still Sodding Weekend Box Office Number One

You know what we were saying the other week about autumn being the season of serious, heavy-handed movies about intelligent issues? Yeah, ditch that - The Game Plan is still number one at the weekend box office.

That's right - The Game Plan, the movie where The Rock has to hilariously look after a child that he's ill-equipped almost to the point of neglect to care for, is still the top movie at the US weekend box office, either because it's a joyous rollercoaster of laughter and emotion or because all the other films that came out this week were doggy balls. But, hey, at least this means that The Rock is the biggest movie star in the world at the moment - something he should cherish while it lasts because his next film Southland Tales comes out next month and that looks like the biggest heap of donkey cocks ever committed to celluloid.

What the hell is is it with wrestlers and films about child-rearing? First Hulk Hogan stars in Mr Nanny and now The Rock has hit the weekend box office top spot for the second week running with The Game Plan. It sure is a formula that pays out, though, and we're just upset that Chris Benoit committed suicide after murdering his wife and child before he had the chance to get started on that Mary Poppins remake he'd been so keenly involved in. Oh, we're sorry. Here's this week's US weekend box office top five…

1 - The Game Plan (Of course, The Game Plan is ultimately a work of fiction despite its success at the weekend box office, and we should never forget that professional American footballers would never do any of the stuff that The Rock does to his little girl in the movie. No, they'd probably just train the girls to murder dogs instead) $16,262,000

2 - The Heartbreak Kid (Good to see that The Heartbreak Kid trailer proves that in 2007 men are still repulsed by their wives being adventurous in bed. We thought we were the only ones left who liked their sexual adventures to be accompanied by stillness and the occasional muffled sob) $14,031,000

3 - The Kingdom (Manfully walking that delicate line between hecklerspray liking it and hecklerspray thinking it's utter shit) $9,345,000

4 - Resident Evil: Extinction (So Resident Evil is extinct, putting it in the same category as the Dodo, dinosaurs, the quagga and Britney Spears' career. Your money back if that's not the cheapest shot of the week) $4,300,000

5 - The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (Named after a Mercury Rev song, although this movie has less mythic references to widescreen Americana and more jobbing British actors twatting about on horses like a bunch of dreary clowns) $3,725,000

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Weekend Box Office - Box Office Mojo