The Farm Odds - Bet On Your Favourite Piggy Fiddler

As reported here yesterday, The Farm has hit Channel Five running, as basically the weirdest reality TV show in the world.

Yes, the RSPCA says it’s cruel; yes, someone’s going to probably wank off a pig before it’s finished, but the big question is - who’s going to win?

hecklerspray and our friends at Betfair.com have teamed up yet again to help guide you through the contenders and give you their current odds. Enjoy…

Mikey Green. Ultra bland former singer with almost-clothed boyband Phixx - not as good as One True Voice. Will get the girl-guide vote. Current odds - 3/1

Keith Harris. Wobbly-lipped ventriloquist famous for ramming
his hand up a green egg-shaped bird and making it sing, back when the
world was a child. Faces things with a mixture of humour and
desperation. Current odds - 27/5

Flavor Flav. Deranged comic jester from Public Enemy. A reality TV veteran, having chased Brigitte Nielsen round the world in a sham  romance for VH-1. Current odds - 27/4

Dave Morgan. Kiss and tell policeman and former fiancee of Kat Slater from Eastenders. Sold his story for fame and a chance to molest pigs. Current odds - 6/1

Emma Noble. Once related to John Major, also once held bits of card for Bruce Forsyth, also appeared in the dodgy remake of Crossroads, now titting about in a farm. Current odds - 13/1

Cicciolina. Mental pornstar turned member of the Italian parliament turned pornstar again. Offered to sleep with Saddam Hussein to end the War. Looks a bit like a man. Current odds - 21/1

Lionel Blair. Bizarre tap-dancing TV presenter. Has hosted approximately 78% of all British game shows. Not related to Tony. Current odds - 23/4

Emma B. Vaguely pikey glamour model, girlfriend to ‘troubled’ former East 17 singer Brian Harvey. Name abbrieviated from the full ‘Emma Bee’ to disguise her flying insect history. Current odds - 19/2

Ron Jeremy. Porn legend. Star of 895 movies, including Ultra
Flesh, Oh Those Nurses, Caught From Behind 8, Dick-tation, Jugsy, My
Sex Life As A Ghost, Ejacula, Drivin’ Miss Daisy Crazy Again, Faster
Pussycat Fuck! Fuck!, Sgt Peckers Lonely Hearts Club Gang Bang and Ronin. Current odds -  11/1

Charlene Tilton. Played Lucy Ewing in big-hatted, rootin’-tootin’, high-falutin’, thigh-slappin’, cow-pokin’, oil-diggin’ omnipresent 1980’s TV show, Dallas. Current odds - 19/1

And that’s the lot of them. hecklerspray
sure knows who it wants to win, but you may have your own ideas. The
Farm betting list changes in real-time, so rush over to the ‘Special
Bets’ section of Betfair.com to stay updated and slam some money down. Then sit back and watch the agricultural mayhem unfurl.

Get free bets when you join Betfair.com! Enter the promotional code WEB111 during sign-up for £10 free, or WEB222 for £20 free

[story by Stuart Heritage]