The world should have ended after the eighties, as that decade truly was a triumph for man.   

Let us remind you lest ye have forgotten – from the eighties sprang forth He-Man, Rubik's Cube, Space Shuttles, Pac Man, The A-Team, Rick Moranis, Thatcherism, The compact disc, and most importantly – the advent of indoor plumbing.

Oh, and the Coreys – AKA Corey Feldman and Corey Haim. The eighties also brought us them. And now they're staging a massively massive comeback. Time to de-pawn your television.

Manhood comes on suddenly. For us, it all happened during the Coreys' movie License To Drive. It was the scene where Corey Haim had to drive backwards at top speeds to get his mother to the hospital. Our scientist Dad injected us with a half gallon of testosterone while we were entranced by Haim's obvious driving ability. "Now you're man enough to mow the lawn," he said. The thing is he was right, after that we really were man enough.

But we digress. Let's just get to the goods – eighties superstars The Coreys are getting ready to comeback in the form of a sit-com. Probably one with a laugh track. Not that they need it. They don't need it. Shut up you!

The show is set to be called The Coreys, and the premise is as follows – Corey Feldman is married with a young kid, and suddenly Corey Haim has to move in with him for inexplicable yet hilarious reasons.  

Then they get attacked by vampires but it ends up their grandpa knew the whole time, and he's willing to spear vamps with his wood-laden station wagon. Then they have dreams about time travel and Haim walks with a limp. And they have to get their licenses. It's pretty much a three-episode premise.

The most recent paragraph is a lie. The one before it is true. Their premise is as stated, but still quite underdeveloped – obviously. No network has picked it up, as it's still in such a preliminary stage. Speaking of the double threat, RDF USA executive Greg Goldman said the Coreys possess a chemistry that "just pops off the screen". Something so true we've never heard uttered by mortal lips.

Haim and Feldman, or Feldman and Haim as purists prefer them called, have been on hard times for quite a while. Haim was brought to a low when he tried hocking one of his molars on eBay – the site wouldn't allow it. Feldman was brought to a low when he realised he was the uglier of the two.

Eye of the beholder, Feldman, eye of the beholder.

Read more:

Two Coreys Together Again – E! Online

[story by Shawn Lindseth]