The Britney Spears MTV VMA Excuses: Cheap Shoes Edition
Then buzz it up
September 12th, 2007 at 17:30 by Stuart Heritage
Now the world has had time to digest Britney Spears stinking up Sunday's MTV VMAs like a bucket of squid up a dead dog's arse, it's time for everyone to start figuring out just why Britney Spears ballsed things up so badly.
So far the reasons for Britney Spears' stumbling around the stage at the MTV VMAs like an especially confused Rohypnol test subject have included a)Britney Spears being way too into her frozen margaritas to rehearse her routine properly, b) Britney Spears being terrified by her post-performance treatment at the hands of Sarah Silverman, and c) Britney Spears just being a bit crap. But now someone with way too much time on their hands has discovered the real reason why Britney Spears was such a hopeless mess at the MTV VMAs - it was d) her shoes.
According to this YouTube video, the reason why Britney Spears was wobbling around the stage like a one-legged pirate on rollerblades was because one of her shoes' heels broke right at the start of the MTV VMA performance. We know this because the video shows it time after time after time. And then points an arrow at it. And then circles the space that the arrow is pointing to. We haven't seen this amount of crackpot slow-motion theorising since that video that said the World Trade Centre was a government-operated hologram. Anyway, fans of Britney Spears, wayward conspiracy theories or several hundred lengthy close-ups of the back of a shoe will have plenty to go on here.
And, yes, it goes without saying that Britney Spears' heel wouldn't have broken if she'd bothered doing any exercise since her first kid was born. But we're far too polite to point that out.
Related and recent:
- Britney Spears MTV VMA Excuses: Hair Edition
- Britney Spears Ordered To Take Drug Tests For Some Reason
- Britney Spears Being Sectioned
- Britney Spears’ Blackout Now Coming Out Super-Soon
- Now Britney Spears Wants To Rap Like Kevin
- National Enquirer Says Sorry To Britney Spears
- Bald Britney Spears’ Crazy Hair Sale Back On
- Britney Spears Does South Park
September 12th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
She looks stoned and uninterested. A broken heel cannot account for that dead look in her eye. Maybe she would have perked up if they dangled an onion ring in front of her. She made millions having a toned body, now she has to deal with the consequences of not being that.
September 12th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
nothin like bein a bug under a microscope~..
but her face looks damn good….geez 5 pounds one way your fat 5 pounds the other way youve got an eating disorder
-its crap like these bad comments that cheapen teh entertainnment industry…
September 12th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
I feel very sad for Britney. She has been through a lot and I believe that I can relate to her situation. Break-up with my PARTNER led me to a similar dilemma: tremendous weight gain, Prozac addiction, and just hating the way I looked. She looked liked she did not want to be on stage and had a spaced out look which reminded me of myself. I hope that she gets out of this mess .
September 12th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
so why was her nail broken?? her hair so bad.. and she looked like pure shit.
September 12th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
It is way past time for the media and critics and tasteless unkind people to STOP bashing Britney Spears.
It is appalling how she has been bashed. How would you feel??? And yes the heel of her right boot was
out of sorts………how could anybody possibly dance with that happening. She is beautiful. and yes she has
a great body……look around. She was the best on MTV awards……her body looked fine to me.
Is it a contest to see who can say the most crude and disgusting things about her.? She always has a smile
for everyone. Sarah Silverman’s remarks about Britney were without a doubt NASTY & VULGAR. I think there
are a few people who need to re-think what they have done. It was tasteless.
God bless you Britney, you have my support……keep your chin up and try to forgive those that were so un-kind..
September 13th, 2007 at 12:57 am
I do think her shoes were a big part of her stumbling which is why they were a BAD choice…along with the costume. Yes, her body is not horrible but that was the most unflattering outfit she could have chosen…in the rehearsal video she looks great in the jeans and tank…and obviously wearing shoes that gave her freedom of motion. So the ones she actually performed in may not have been the ones she rehearsed in (which is stupid) But even that being the case, part of succeeding as a erformer is improvising when necessary…maybe improving a sexy strip tease in which she takes the boots off and tosses them aside then resume the routine would have allowed her more freedom to continue dancing without worrying about falling. She was definitely rusty because that obviously didn’t cross her mind. And she is really beyond the sexpot pop star age…she’s handled by THE blindest and out of touch managers who actually convinced her to do this type of number…being slutty is over and BORING…Anyway, I was so not surprised that she stank it up. But I was appalled at Sarah Silverman’s crappy comments about her kids. That was totally low brow.
September 13th, 2007 at 12:58 am
I bet she was just hammered drunk, like the rest of her adult life. Drunks stumble all the time.
September 13th, 2007 at 3:08 am
I’ll put my hand up to having way too much time, but…
What the heck is going on here, at the start of that expose Britney is staggering on her left leg, the arrow points to it saying “her leg shouldn’t be bent like that”.
By the end of the expose, the arrow’s highlighting her right leg and her allegedly buggered shoe.
First she can’t walk on her left leg/foot, then she can’t walk on her right leg/foot…
Sounds like a case of the drunken staggers to me, I know that’s how I stagger after 8 pints or so.
September 13th, 2007 at 4:20 am
does anyone realize that Britney was not the worst person that night. Her performance was quite o.k., just not up to par with her previous stuff, which is what everyone is expecting. And what the hell, she is in no way fat, and she doesn’t even look good concidering she just had two kids, she looks good for any girl. That’s healthy, not these 90 pound girls who are sick and dying to try and look good because people say that those like Britney look fat when she is most definately not.
September 13th, 2007 at 4:22 am
ok…the weight thing I have been hearing pisses me and a lot of people off…and I would like to point out that the statement “her shoe wouldn’t have broken if she bothered doing exercise” which implies, if she wasn’t so heavy her shoe wouldn’t have broken, might be the most retarded thing i ever heard….they don’t make shoes for anorexic people, shoes go through a process so they should withstand a lot of weight (even when anna nicole was at her HUGE stage, she wore heels and they didn’t break) and if they break its because a defect in the shoe, not because the person wearing them was fat. Even Celine dion broke a shoe during a performance and she is very skinny….to imply that britney is fat is to imply that any healthy american is fat and we should all just start throwing up our food now….
September 13th, 2007 at 4:24 am
Are you a guy? or have you personally just never worn stilettos? When you wear four/five inch heels, you stumble. I have broken many a designer boot and when it breaks, it BREAKS. No “ohh, woah, it looks slanted. . .it must be broken.”
September 13th, 2007 at 5:05 am
Judging Britney’s performance on the VMA and her “comeback” or lack thereof on the basis of her weight is a perfect example of how American priorities are completely f!@#ed up. Get real people. Even if she had put on weight and even if she was above her BMI, my God, why does this matter so much? She looks perfectly healthy even if she has a few extra pounds compared to pre-pregnancy Britney. We aren’t talking about morbid obesity or something…her weight shouldn’t (nor should anyone’s) be given such importance unless it is a medical condition (and that’s really not our business either folks). Weight is a NUMBER people. It doesn’t define who a person is…or define a performance. Oh wait, is Britney different? Is that what her fans and society REALLY want? Not a good performance of a song but a thin blonde babe shaking a bit better? Well, that’s just shallow. It is so shallow it makes me want to vomit. The shame is on all of YOU America and not Britney POSSIBLY carrying a FEW extra pounds. If Britney gets any blame, it is for feeding you vampires what you wanted back in the day. I could reference my weight and height and stats here but the fact is, this has nothing to do with who I am as a person and my opinion…why would my dress size support my opinion? It doesn’t. But maybe I am different in that I don’t give a crap about everyone’s lengthly personalization of their weight and how it relates to Britney and her current drama. I mean, spare me - it means as little as Britney’s weight. America, get a f!@#’g life.
September 13th, 2007 at 5:37 am
Britney spears suck!!!!…Caribbean ppl dont like her anymore..tsk tsk
September 13th, 2007 at 6:41 am
First off, if the her heel really was broken then that would have been the first thing Britney would have announced to the world. Second, she looks like she’s on drugs and that would account for her obvious inability to keep her balance. Last, like someone already pointed out, if a heal is broken it’s way more obvious than that. A heel that high that is broken cannot be covered up. Nice try but none of it flies.
September 13th, 2007 at 8:42 am
thank you hum and eleanore! i’m a woman who does not often wear high heels, but i do know what it’s like to stumble on them, and have the heel lean, which to some who don’t know might say it’s “broken.” and to reiterate what eleanore said, why is it that everybody (ok not everybody but some people…crazy people) but britney is saying the heel is broken? this is obviously just an excuse that britney fans are using to cover up the fact that the performance sucked so bad. and for the record, britney is not fat, and certainly not modest. that corset i keep hearing about would have helped curb the negativity flying around right now.
September 13th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
I love Britney, I have been a HUGE fan since I 1st heard Baby one more time like 8 years ago.. Ive been to see her several times and her performances always sent a shiver up my spine. I (like many young girls) looked up to her, tried to copy her ‘look’ and learnt the dances to her music videos! I came close to tears when I read about her shaving her locks off (and saw the scary pictures of her). I really think that she should hang up her sexy show-clothes and heels (broken or not broken!!) and concentrate on being a Mum.
I think a half-hearted comeback would just be like a bad sequel… like the legally blonde sequel or home alone three - they ruin the original image in our minds in a way and I definitely want to remember the amazing Britney who ruled the world in a school uniform!!!
September 13th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Can I just point out to you commenters that this site is, in fact, *not* the Britney Spears fanclub? You seem to be labouring under more than just the misapprehension that she is worthy of a microphone.
September 13th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Her buttocks must be punished for such a performance!
September 15th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
There is a video on Youtube that shows that britneys heel of her boot did break in the begining of the performance and thats why she was stumbling around and needed the help of her dancers to get on and off the higher stage. I think she looks good dispite what she’s gone through obviously there was no excuse for the lifeless look in her eyes but it was obviously she was nervous wouldnt you be? she did the best she could i give her props for having the courage to do that. Everyone makes mistakes so she had a bad comeback performance so what that doesnt make me any less of a fan i still support britney.
September 16th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
[...] Emily wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptAccording to this YouTube video, the reason why Britney Spears was wobbling around the stage like a one-legged pirate on rollerblades was because one of her shoes’ heels broke right at the start of the MTV VMA performance. … [...]
September 17th, 2007 at 9:14 am
no samm…there is a video on youtube that shows that she was stumbling and was unable to walk in her heels. i’ve seen the video and the heel does not look broken at all…that’s what happens when you can’t walk/perform in heels. but nonetheless, britney is lucky to have fans like you to defend her.
September 30th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
HOLD THE PRESS!
I’ve finally worked out what Britneys problem is. She’s attirely-challenged.
It’s obvious when you think about it. She either puts on a dress with no panties or bra or puts on a bra and panties and no dress!
She just can’t manage a dress and panties and a bra.
There must be someone who can help Britney with this devastating problem. It’s not a disease it’s a challenge, people. Don’t put her down.
November 4th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
I think that song is perfect!!And i really like britney spears!