The Beckhams each have their own agendas.
David likes to try stringing simple sentences together so that nobody confuses with a messed-up character from The Wizard Of Oz. Victoria, meanwhile, hones in on any nearby cameras so that the paparazzi can take another photo of her pulling a face like of a cow that’s just had a hand shoved up its arse.
Thai monks, on the other hand, do nothing all day apart from being at one with the planet and acting extremely hard. One thing that does nark them off, though, is when animals and insects are innocently killed, possibly with the bug zappers that David and Victoria Beckham have just installed in their Thai home. Whoops.
Through hazy personal experience, we can confirm that Thailand is slightly warmer then the UK. Snow doesn't mess everything in Thailand like in the UK; instead that privilege is reserved for the occasional mosquito that drowns in your beer. And they carry diseases as well which can be a bit of a pain in the arse. Naturally, a kind source for the Beckhams said:
?The Beckhams were very keen to keep the mosquitoes out because they can carry disease, as well as being annoying.?
A spokesperson for the entire population of Thai monks responded by saying:
?The Thai people are very keen to keep the Beckhams out because they offer nothing of value, as well as being annoying.”
It must a strange situation for David and Victoria to be in. Most of the time, they have to simply snap their fingers and a slave will bring them a freshly grilled squirrel that's been stuffed with peppers. Sadly for them, the Thai monks aren't really that bothered who turns up. Mess with their culture and it's a different kettle of onions!
The chances of the Beckhams being able to kickbox their way out of a potential fight with a beefed-up Thai man is quite slim. However, we believe that there is a solution to every problem. And the answer to this conundrum lies with the overly exposed and exploited Beckham children.
After giving their children such stupid names, surely the monks will take pity on the couple and take them in as one of their own. At least then they won't bother anyone else when they turn 18 and get caught in a public toilet expose.
Outsider says
hecklerspray’s people are the stupidest among the stupidests in this world!
marie says
uh, as interesting it is that the Beckhams don’t like mosquitoes (like every other normal person on this planet), I Don’t think that it’s at all relevant to the article that you think their kids have stupid names. Romeo, is, as you know, an old italian name, Brooklyn is actually quite nice, especially if you think of all the other (horrible and embarrassing) names they could have had, like poppy (Jamie Oliver) or Apple (The coldplay guy) Cruz is a pretty normal spanish name. Give it a break no on is interested…and yeah, I am bored right now, otherwise i wouldn’t have bothered to comment this…..
Julian Mentat says
Having met some Thai monks, I think they’re onto a pretty good thing. Possibly the easiest ride an average guy can get in that society. Apart from pimping.
magnetite says
I wish they’d pissed off the Shaolin Soccer monks instead. I’d give a kidney to watch that play out to its inevitable and bloody consusion.
magnetite says
Con-bastard-clusion. I saw the red line and thought ‘what the hell do you know? You’re just a spellchecker.’ No more booze for me, thank you.