The Beautiful South Split, Three People Vaguely Miffed
Then buzz it up
February 1st, 2007 at 11:00 by Stuart Heritage
Here's some shocking news: The Beautiful South split up yesterday after almost two decades of making music together - obviously it's only shocking news because we'd more or less assumed that The Beautiful South split up ten years ago, but there you go.
So what do we do in a world where The Beautiful South doesn't exist to sing us bleakly witty pop songs about modern disaffection set to Ikea-friendly tunes? Pretty much the same as we did in a world where the Beautiful South did exist as it happens, since nobody had really noticed the band since that song they did about fat people in 1998. But in case you're worried that The Beautiful South split had no meaning behind it, comfort yourself with the fact that the universe will always maintain its cosmic balance no matter what, and that after Crowded House reformed it was left with no choice but to compensate by destroying another blandly inoffensive middle-class dinner-party band that some people quite liked to maintain its karmic togetherness.
Lately all the talk has been about reforming bands, and there's been something for everyone. For the angry youth of today there's the Rage Against The Machine reunion, for the angry youth of 25 years ago there's the Van Halen reunion and idiots who only like bad music get to choose between the James reunion and the Crowded House reunion, the lucky dogs.
But as the Lord gives us rubbish, so he must taketh away some rubbish bands too, and The Beautiful South were first on his list. You'll remember The Beautiful South for their charming ditties like Song For Whoever, Old Red Eyes Is Back, Rotterdam and The Rose Of My Cologne. Only you probably won't have heard The Rose Of My Cologne because, as The Beautiful South's final single, it only reached number 99 in the charts. Come to think of it, that might have had something to do with The Beautiful South split, which was announced in a typically understated statement yesterday:
"The Beautiful South have split up due to musical similarities. The band would like to thank everyone for their 19 wonderful years in music."
It has long been boasted that one in seven British households contains a copy of Carry On Up The Charts, the 1994 Beautiful South Best-Of album, and no doubt news of The Beautiful South split will send many of them to their CD racks to listen to it one last time in remembrance of the band's passing before realising that they donated it to a Women's Institute jumble sale some time in the middle of 2002.
Read more:
Related and recent:
- South Park Does Scientology: Why Isaac Hayes Left?
- South Park - Chef Gets Mauled To Death
- Ain’t No Family As Beautiful As Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie’s Family
- Britney Spears Does South Park
- Paris Hilton Single Again Or Something
- Drew Barrymore Apparently Considered Beautiful Now
- Kate Hudson Is Beautiful, Or So They Say
- Spice Girls Put Themselves Out Of Their Misery
February 1st, 2007 at 11:15 am
I always thought that statistic should be ‘1 in 7 people have a Beautiful South album right at the back of their CD collection covered in 3 inches of dust’ too
February 1st, 2007 at 1:10 pm
So, witty songs with catchy melodies is a bad thing? Must note that down.
Good songwriting comes in many forms… and the South certainly had their place in the Pantheon. Only received wisdom and lazy listening casts them as middle-of-the-road.
Cast me as one of the three people MORE than vaguely miffed.
February 1st, 2007 at 1:29 pm
What are the chances? Ken, do you know the other two?
February 1st, 2007 at 8:02 pm
I know of quite a few people who’ll be sad to see the end of the South. I’ve been to see them live many times and they always put on a good show. Hopefully, Paul Heaton will revive his solo career and show everyone he still has the ability to write great songs.
February 6th, 2007 at 10:26 am
A very well written piece that would have been even better had Stuart had any idea about the subject matter. I agree with the sentiment “blandly inoffensive middle-class dinner-party band”, it’s lovely to tuck into dessert listening to Don’t Marry Her, Mini Correct and 36D, I love it when people “hear” songs but don’t actually listen to the lyrics, how Beautifully Southly ironic that Stuart should use that comparison.
“….since nobody had really noticed the band since that song they did about fat people in 1998″, oh dear, where have you been hiding? It’s such a shame you haven’t mentioned the Beautiful South’s awesome live performances at Glastonbury and the V Festival over the past couple of years, you would also then presumably have missed their forestry tour and the opportunity of seeing them live during the past 8 years? But then, you would have needed to have your finger on the pulse of British Music to have known that, wouldn’t you?
Count me in as one of the Kenton Three. The Beautiful South may you Rest in Musical Peace. Thank you for 18 amazing years.
February 6th, 2007 at 11:10 am
I agree with the article, they were past it years ago. No doubt all their fans have stormed this page in protest, and we still dont have the full 3 people revealed. Very telling.
Any band that charts in at number 99 deserved to split.
February 6th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Can you count me twice?
February 6th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
Can I be number four or what ever it is?
I’m VERY proud to be the fourth biggest TBS fan
The piece was very well written. It’s a great skill to be able to dress up and call upon particular facts to create the image you desire to, for what purpose? People already have their opinions,
and I doubt that anything you or I will write will change it. Very good try though.
You no-doubt will be writing your next article and the report will soon go to archive, the music TBS made is already timeless and will be played and appreiciated for many more years than your shitty article will be read.
Regards, BEN.
February 9th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Well if you’re four then I’m five.
February 10th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Woo hoo, let’s all have a party!
February 16th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
I think they are a great band and Paul writes great thought provoking lyrics - obviously not everyone can be bothered to listen properly - I have loads of their CDs and listen to them often.
February 17th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
Who were they again? don’t worry I’ll find out in 10 years time when theres a Beautiful South reunion and they will play at Brits 2017 and er, probably win that award for ‘Outstanding Contirbution to Music’, only they will all be 10 years older so maybe they will change their name to ‘Down South’ or ‘Its All Gone South’ or something and by then instead of Brits Live on telly it might be beamed Live in Your Living Room - imagine that! Robbie might be out of rehab by then and can host the night along with Amy Winehouse (bit like Samantha Fox & fleetwood mac bloke) they can then do a live rendition of the newly titled ‘You don’t want to go to rehab (again) Robbie, No, No, No’ the ‘whatever’ Souths meanwhile will have released a new best of hits album and people (well 3 at least) will rush out to get it, totally forgetting that they are all on the CD at the back of the cupboard just in a different order….I can’t wait! - sorry just one more thing what are ‘musical similarities’ ?
I would have thought its much easier if all the band want to play similar music…….
March 4th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Who cares if no-one else likes them I do got all the albums seen them live thay are tops, real lyrics with insight.