It's been about six or seven seconds since The Beatles last found a way to cynically repackage some of their songs and pass it off as new material, so we were always going to be due some kind of new Beatles crap soon.
And now it's arrived. Next month, The Beatles are going to release 'new' album Love. And when we say 'new' we mean 'lots of bits of old Beatles songs mangled together'. And when we say 'album' we mean 'a soundtrack to a bunch of poncey French acrobats leaping around that's coming out on CD just in time for Christmas'. Cleared that up? Good.
It's long been speculated that The Beatles were just about to reunite when John Lennon got shot. Obviously a dead John Lennon probably wouldn't have been such a draw for Beatles fans, so these plans were shelved, and plan B was put into action. That plan involved every single object that John Lennon ever owned getting flogged off at auction while the other Beatles repackage their hits so that they can make a bunch more money every couple of years. There was the 1 compilation, the Let It Be Naked album, and now there's Love.
Love? That sounds familiar. Isn't that the name of the new Beatles-soundtracked Cirque Du Soleil show where a pretentious clown twats about on a bit of rope while Lovely Rita plays in the background? Why, yes it is! E! Online describes new Beatles album Love like this:
Coming together in ways impossible to envision four decades ago, the Beatles are back with a new album, Love, that remixes and mashes up classic Beatles tunes along with outtakes, demos and song scraps never before released by the Fab Four under the guidance of the band's legendary producer, George Martin, and his son, Giles… Thanks to the Martins' audio wizardry and state-of-art digital technology, Love combines snippets of more than 130 Beatles tracks with a variety of ambient noises and textures. So don't be surprised to hear elements of "Lady Madonna" mixed in with "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da," and "Why Don't We Do It In The Road?" and Eric Clapton's guitar solo from "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." There are tweaked versions of "Eleanor Rigby," "Get Back," "Octopus' Garden" and, natch, "All You Need Is Love."
Which sounds, um, interesting. OK, it sounds rubbish, but at least you don't have to think too hard about what to get your Dad for Christmas now. Plus the money will come in handy for when Paul McCartney decides to properly divorce his monoped wife.
Of course, it's hard to know where The Beatles will go after the Love album. Obviously we can't shake the feeling that once Ringo Starr dies we'll be treated to Paul McCartney Presents Basslines Of The Beatles, Volumes One To A Billion, but what about the meantime? After all, 50 Cent is the new Beatles, isn't he?
Read more:
Beatles Unleashing Love – E! Online
[story by Stuart Heritage]
kelcie says
This is rediculous. The Beatles set the stage for all the rest of pop music in the future. Just because Cirque du Soleil chose such a controversial and inspiring era to have as
their theme for their show doesn’t mean the Beatles don’t have talent and didn’t release more than a handful of original, badass albums. And on Cirque du Soleill, I’m pretty sure consists of people with more
tall the acrobats have more talent than whoever wasted their time making this bitch fit website about the amazing Beatles. What makes rereleasing music wrong? Most musicians do it. Hell, Hilary Duff
already have a greatest hits album and she’s put out what? Two CD’s? I guess I can’t dismiss the fact that you said 50 Cent is the new Beatles ( are you shitting me?). You clearly
have horrid taste in music. I’m buying the Love soundtrack a)I love the beatles & b)just to spite you.
I hate you.
Alicia says
Are you all insane? 50 cent ? THE NEW BEATLES ?? My ass. The Beatles are amazing and whoever made this shit website is mental.
Paul McCartney Fan says
What on Earth are you on about, this C.D. is brilliant, if you want to listen it properly, then you have to let the tracks run through (As they run into each other), and they also keep same Psychedelic feeling through the whole thing.
Ok, this is not the best Beatles album ever, but you hear the Beatles as you’ve never heard them before
LONG LIVE McCARTNEY!!!!
Claireyy says
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON ABOUT!
The Beatles Rocked .
Whoever wrote this STUPID website needs his balls cut off.
Grr.
Martha says
this is the biggest load of bullshit i have ever read. the beatles were legends. love is an amazing album. i agree whichever jealous twat wrote this should be shot or aybe i should feel sorry for someone who is obviously so musicall retarded that they cant appreciate music…
Viki says
Ahahahahahahahahahahaa.
You’re really funny.
And you’re also really full of shit.
:D
jeremiah grant says
sounds like the writer of this isn’t out of the closet, considering he is mad at a circus show and letting beatle’s fans hear more of their inner thoughts expressed through music.
mark harrison says
When some one comes along who can match The Beatles in any capacity then i would be willing to listen to their point of veiw on the credability of anything The Beatles have ever recorded as it is let history tell their story tht’s all i have to say
Sarah S. says
The Beatles were indeed the best rock band in the history of that genre so far. Credibility indeed they have nothing further to prove on that score. Perhaps this old article reveals that some should not offer up articles without the back ground in music appreciation that is required to give an informed opinion on such matters. Furthermore as stellar as the Beatles were it would be nice if comments had spell check!