There is a new soft drink advert that is doing the rounds online. Most are claiming that the promotional video is taken from a banned German advertising campaign for Sprite.
The commercial is ten kinds of gross. Thank heavens that wherever it comes from, it seems not to actually be on the air in any country.
Watching this oral sex-based advert will make you never want to drink Sprite again. Well, Sprite or any other drink that even remotely has the consistency of semen. So that includes milk, eggnog and perhaps even Baileys.
The video first surfaced yesterday and had a mini viral wave. Though most did not know its origins, the premise needed little explanation. It was some form of NSFW promo that may as well have been an actual porno. A really dull porno, where the leading lady stops in the middle of her duties to rehydrate.
The reports, 24 hours in, are still conflicted. The HuffPo is claiming that this is a real Sprite advert that was banned in Germany. However, Gawker is claiming that this is just made by an advertising agency in hopes of Sprite picking them up.
Real or fake, the only thing anyone is likely to pick up is a nasty case of crabs. Not since the Burger King blowjob ads has an ad agency shown such a lack of judgement in what people will actually want to consume.
The advert’s premise is this: it shows a couple in their kitchen doing the nasty. The man is sweaty, the woman bored, the work surfaces are rather sparkly clean. The woman soon bores of giving a lazy blowjob and stops to have a bit of a think. She forgets what she is thinking about and gets back to business. Then, all of a sudden there is an avalanche of Sprite being poured on her face (an obvious euphemism for something else).
There are three lessons to be learnt from this advert.
One, always be sure to spit polish your work surfaces as you never know who may pop over for a quickie. Two, at least attempt to look enthused as you give bad head. Three – this is the most important – only amateurs spit. The girl in the advert, barraged with a face full of soda, opts to spit the product out. This makes it seem as though it probably does taste like spunk. If you really wanted to sell the ad, shitty ad agency, the girl should have swallowed.
For those with a filthy mind, you can watch the NSFW advert here…
This was a guest post by the wonderful wonderful Amy Grindhouse. Go get her.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Stil, they say it’s good for a gyppy tummy when it’s flaccid. I mean, flat.
That’s hilarious. My Wednesday is complete now I’ve seen that unique representation of how to quench your thirst.
Really excellent Ms.Grindhouse!
The New York Press reports that a New York City-based director was responsible for the now-infamous Sprite ad, and that the spot was produced without Sprite’s permission. The ad is the work of Max Issacson (JEW), and was not produced in Germany, according to the NY Press.
These are the reasons why the filthy Jew has always been so despised. From Jesus Christ to Adolf Hitler, wise men have learned a deep contempt and loathing for the infamous, disgusting, and justifiably labeled- filthy Jew.
Right on brother!