It seems that the folks of hecklerspray have gone in too hard, too deep on Peter Doherty. We have riled fans of the singer with our article regarding the Babyshambler, and his possible invention by the KLF.
To address the balance – and to say how deeply sorry we are – here’s an article looking at the top ten reasons why Pete Doherty is a wonderful and totally ace person…
1 - For a start, Pete Doherty (CDs) is very very very very clever.
2 - Pete started writing at an early age, and received numerous awards
for his writing, involving trips to Russia, being published, and the
writing of a QPR fanzine (which now sells for big bucks if you can get
your hands on one now).
3 - He’s also been likened to Morrissey in his lyrical content. Dense
with imagery and tales of a disaffected and disenfranchised youth.
4 - He’s really very clever y’know?
5 - Doherty was also awarded with a Nobel Peace Prize for his work with
orphans from Pitoongwan. He played a benefit concert with his then
band, The Libertines, and raised hundreds of pounds to buy the children
access to clean water, school books and crack cocaine.
6 - Peter has also been subject to much criticism from the national
press for glorifying drug use. He has managed to deal with the cruel
treatment by gracefully side stepping the blageratzzi and bamboozling
them with a far superior intellect. He once remarked to a bumbling Sun
reporter:
"He who hath befallen such cruel fate hath stood on broken streets,
with the sun casting no shadow. However, pride hath bestowed the fallen
angel, for he cast no stone in undisturbed water. For he who places a
fruitee pastille upon such silken surface can only break thine
butterfly on the wheel."
Clever eh?
7 – Doherty has also about to become ‘rear of the year’ in the imminent
TV Thymes magazine. A spokesperson for the rag apparently said "We need
people like Pete, and his hoards of besotted fans on board. We’re
fucked in terms of sales."
8 - Pete has suits made for him by Armani. Claims that he is about to
enter his Miami Vice stage could not be confirmed at the time of
press, but Kevin Armani of the Armani Suiting and Beauting Co hopes
that Pete can revive the white suit.
9 – It’s a little known fact that Pete Doherty has never actually done anything wrong. Ever.
10 - He’s like, a really clever and intelligent chap. Not a bit clever, really clever.
So with that, we say sorry to the very very very clever Pete
Doherty, and all his fans. You can come out of your bedrooms now.
[story by Mof Gimmers]
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
my comment is that yesterday i met him in Soho, i nearly died. he was absolutely lovely. not too chatty but probably because he was about to be swarmed by screaming fans. he signed my book and gave me a huge kiss on the cheek while our picture was taken. he was very sweet and kind. he is my idol and he could see how happy it made me just to be near him. i have nothing bad to say about him, i loved him before and afer i met him he is fantastic. the only bad thing is that i was holding onto my camera phone so hard that i turned it off before i even could save the most important picture that i ever had. it was the best day ever. i think he is brilliant, very talented and lovely.
SOPHIE
You know it’s true. Glad that you’ve finally seen the light, eh?
He is, to quote mark lamar:
“A thieving junkie bastard”!!
if anyone remembers him in 5 years for anything but his tabloid activity i’ll be surprised.
I will remember him! He dated Kate Moss! He was also a rapid crack cocaine user, had a naltrexone implant to combat his heroin addiction, went to jail for possession, and was in some band called…uhhh…well, did I mention he dated Kate Moss?
Yes, the Truth has seen the light. You are so funny!
Whoever wrote this is a fucking stupid vulture. Pete Doherty got 11A*s in his gcse. What did you get?
He is recongnised as a great poet by those in the know, which obvioulsy doesn’t include the author of this piece of shit article.
His album “up the bracket” is problably the finest rock album ever.
His collaboration with Wolfman “For Lovers” is rough trades best selling single ever.
He’s has written indie classics such as “cant stand me now,” “A rebours,” pop classics such as “dont look back into the sun” and “kilamangiro,” sing along anthems such as “time for heroes” and “what katie did,” moving acoustic ballads such as “at the flophouse” and “radio america.” Hes performed in front of thousands all over the world. Won many awards. Has a great dress ense. Has a supermodel girlfriend. All by the time he was 27. What has the author of this pathetic article done with their life apart from being a snivelling, shit for brains scumbag. You must be real jealous of him to spend you time writting shit like this. Never mind eh, someday you might grow some nuts and life one day like he lives every day.
well said barry!
Jeez Barry, if you get yourself a little further up a certain junkie’s backside, you may bump into your sense of humour. You certainly haven’t got it with you.
Pete’s so clever, he’ll know the score. If you play with the stars, you run with the scribes. Since that will be a bit cryptic for you (not Pete tho, ‘cos he’s a poet), I’ll explain.
Pete loves the cameras, loves the stage, loves the high profile girl. So he’s gonna cop some flack in the press. Is that so bad? Well, he got his bat polished by Kate Moss, which will be a pleasant memory for him when he plunges into obscurity.
I agree with Barry.Barry said everything that was currently going through my head. Pete Doherty is a highly intellectual human being and most people fail to see that.
As for the people that put this website together,i would love to see you write songs or poems with as much meaning,love and controversial yet thoughtful meaning in them.I personally dont think you could do it,i think it would be a pile of meaningless,thoughtless shit.Because thats all you people are good at writing,shit that means nothing to anybody who has a brain and a life.
It all comes down to jealousy,you’re just jealous that hes had the undeniably gorgeous Kate Moss in his bed,Shedloads of cash in his bank account,Thousands of fans which adore him and great dress sense,and you’re just stuck on some lame website constantly insulting somebody who has never done anything other than pursue what he wants most in life and doesnt let other people control him.I think this is very admirable. He is liked for being himself,not some false,big headed guy who prides himself on never having a strand of hair out of place.How the media portrays him may be powerful and at times shocking,but at the end of the day that is Peter Doherty and what you see is what you get, and this is a golden trait to have intwined with your personality. in most people,which some of us lack.
barry you tit. it’s people like you who make people like the person who wrote this article write the article in the first place. i think pete has written some fucking amazing songs and it fuddles me when people say stuff like ‘he cant sing or play guitar’…that kind of thing never did neil young or kurt cobain any harm to my recollection, did it? thank you.
i’d be surprised if in five years any of you had ‘forgotten’ that pete doherty was a tip top songwriter with a nifty eye for words. johnny borrell maybe, but pete doherty? no. check his book ‘through the looking glass’ if you want some **free** proof. it’s actually more of a diary than a book though…
ta luvvies, happy fighting
Barry – your comment’s a joke. Right? How can anyone get so worked up about an over-rated junkie posh boy eh? 11 A*s! At GCSE no less. Bloody hell! He must be up there with Hawking and Einstein.
And last time I checked “Up the Bracket” was by The Libertines, not just Doherty.
He’s a fantastic lyricist and he never encouraged anyone to take drugs, he admits to it being a filthy habit himself. He did get some great exam results, but still, is that a problem? It’s pointless articles like this which will push him over the edge for doing what? Getting a few A*s? Half the population of England are on drugs, but still the press seem to make out he is the only one.
Sometimes he likes so play up to his image, but why wreck a good story for the truth eh?
xxxx
i like corn flakes, though
I wouldn’t of minded if there had of been something original or even remotely funny in this article but there isn’t. Its just another chance of the back scratching anti-pete brigade to congratulate each other on yet more “hiliarious” comments about mr.doherty, and get off on saying words like junkie and smackhead(maybe it makes your own worthless lives seem a bit better?). Seriously you’d have to have the mind of a 7 year old to find anything funny in this.
Barry you are a bit of a tit – sychophancy is worse than any junkie.
u r all weird and jealous as am i:)
Barry, can you point out the bit of the article that says ‘junkie’ and ‘smackhead’ please?
Also, for all the people saying ‘STOP CALLING PETE! IT ISN’T FAIR!’ Have you thought that by returning fire (or in simpletons terms, calling people names who write articles) you make your arguement flaccid, like a junkie’s cock?
It’s quite incredible that people who defend someone for being graceful in the face of attack, can be just as narrow minded.
For the record, all bands associated with Pete Doherty as absolutely shite.
Discuss 25 marks.
as Pete said himself…
“Clever ain’t wise.”
hmm well this just about proves the Doherty Theory.
xxxx
to be honest. you’re all cunts. just leave him alone. i dont think he’s ever asked to tabloids to write about him.
I don’t think I ever asked him to release a rather poor album or run off to Thailand or just generally be a bit of tit.
Unfortunately, it happened anyway.
Incidentally, I appear to have the mind of a 7-year-old.
Pete Doherty is wonderful. I absolutley adore him.
He IS amazing, the drugs just get in the way!
Before you write another article like this somewhere, please take the time to find out more about him!
Im sure the world wouldnt miss Pete Doherty or have been worse off had he not been born, not like he cured cancer, freed an opressed country, he only appeals to certain people, surely if he was a genius more people would appreciate it. And if hes such a genius shouldnt he realise that becoming an ‘idol’ (used very loosely) and then being a druggie would not only glorify druguse but attract media attention. For such a smart guy hes incredibly stupid.
Yep, Georgia, you’re right, he is amazing.
The way he has two kids that he never or barely sees is just stunning. I really admire that. The way he is such a shining example to them by getting constantly arrested and jabbing himself full of drugs is extraordinary, really something to aspire to and adore.
What other terrific things should we find out about him? Oh, that he let his best mate down by getting so into drugs that their band could no longer survive? Yep, that’s terrific, really good work. Something we should all take note of and emulate.
The interesting thing is that neither the Libertines nor Babyshambles are actually that popular. I mean, Babyshambles run around playing small venues which I guess suits their posh fan base, who can then feel they are really into something “indie”, when really both bands are just media hype wagons that suited the interests of both NME and the Sun.
Oh dear. Isn’t it ironic how super smart Pete has such dim wit fans? Or maybe they are really smart fans, but just with super low standards. Poor old Pete. He’s alright, actually. He just deserves some fans with brains rather than sheep-like instincts.
you are all talking yourselves in circles. arguing at length about how unpopular or untalented doherty is surely means that he is exactly the opposite. he is the only rockstar that this decade has created. great.
Pete is the sexiest, cleverest guy ever!, or of our generation. I wont ever have the chance to meet him as I am too young to go to his concerts and stuff, but I am in love with him. I just hope he can get help for his drug addiction. It’s ruining him and his talent, he is lkely to pas away soon, which will ruin me and my love for him. I will only have his voice and talent left to remember him by. He’s taught me to do what I want to do in life, do your dreams. If you work hard you will ge tthere, like he has done. You may not think him a talented guitarist or singer, but I do and thats all that matters to me. He’s amazing, keep it up pete (not the drugs.
Also, getting caught with drugs is a plea for help. He wants help but can’t do it on his own. He wants to go to prison, you can tell.
Peter is numero uno in my books and always will be
Pete’s Likely Lass. You are so friggin stupid I am surprised you can breath and type at the same time. Pete has achieved tabloid notoriety and nothing more. If he’s your inspiration, you may as well plan a career mucking out the toilets the day after Glasto has finished in hot weather. Speakikng of Glasto, I saw Babyshambles there. I went along to see what all the fuss was about. They were utterly terrible, barely capable of playing music let alone marking the musical landscape with anything of note. PLL, in a few year’s you are going to be so embarrassed about all this.
oh well. Young, stupid love can’t be helped I suppose.
To be perfectly honest, I think the man is a genius. And I also think that all the uproar about Babyshambles being shit and bad role models is EXACTLY the same sort of thing that people said about the Rolling Stones. I mean, he is a genius, his songs are incredible, but he is also a cunt. Unfortunately, this arguement has been split into two sides: “I HATE DOHERTY THE JUNKIE CUNT HE CAN’T SING UNLIKE MY TREASURED MARIAH CAREY” and “OMFG PETE IZ A GENIOUS HEZ WELL KL”. Which can never be good.
Also, whoever said that neither of his bands were/ are popular is an idiot. First of all, the Libertines were big, especially culturally, and have paved the way for bands like Arctic Monkeys. Secondly, did the Clash ever get a top ten song when they were together? No. And they are, generally, seen as one of the greatest bands of all time. Anyone who says Pete won’t be remembered in a few years time is terribly misinformed. Yes, Babyshambles are pretty shit because Peter is in love with the idea of shambolic genius. But who the fuck wants another Coldplay?
general_smuts@hotmail.co.uk
The Libertines gigs weren’t full of pretentious ‘posh’ people actually. Thats the most dumbest thing anyone has said in ages.
Look past all the drug problems. If you actually bothered to listen to his intellectual deep lyrics, and stopped pecking on his drug addicitions I guess you would see the light.
And as for his drug addictions, as someone highlighted before, even he said ‘ Clever ain’t wise.’
The Libertines music brought people from all classes…. but as he said… ‘i am in a class of my own.’
Sorry i just had to pick up on the mouth breathing retard who said up the bracket was ‘probably the greatest rock album ever’. only if your definition of ever is restricted to the day it was released.
As for Pete, he isn’t really clever, he is a prententious twat. There is a big difference between intelligent (i.e 11 A*’s) and clever. So he can conjugate his verbs properly but he still doesn’t see anything wrong with pumping himself full of shit? It isn’t big or clever to glamorise the use of heroin or crack and the fact that he does it in spite of his supposed ‘supreme intellect’ makes it all the more pitiful and ridiculous. He’ll be forgtten soon anyway.
Just seen Pete on Wossy.
What’s the fuss about?