Teen Star Lindsay Lohan To Unleash ‘Divorce T.V’

Teen star Lindsay Lohan (her of cack-awful remake Freaky Friday and ok-in-a-quietly-disturbing-sort-of-way Mean Girls) has announced plans to take part in a reality TV show which would chart the ongoing progess of her parent’s divorce.

Yes, you read that right. In a move lacking any sort of subtlety or tact whatsoever, it appears that Lohan has decided to endanger her ‘Next Big Thing’ status by indulging in the sort of crass, cynical Trailer-Park-Titillation that even Jerry Springer would have to think twice about.

‘As sick as it sounds,’ Lohan reasoned,  ‘a reality show might help, actually. At least then people could get the truth.’

Hmm. hecklerspray - and pay attention, for it doesn’t happen often - suddenly feels the need to get all ‘moral’ about things.

Despite her child star status … despite the fact that she’s a reasonably intelligent, media-savvy kind of girl … despite all of this … the fact remains that Lindsay Lohan is only 18 years old.

Think about it. If your parents were splitting up while you were 18 would you be in the best frame of mind?

Would you be of sound decision-making calibre, enough so to fend off the drooling advances of contract-wielding, money-hungry network executives?

Or is something slightly dubious and… you know … just downright nasty going on here?

Open up those nostrils, friends. Take a deep breath. Smell that? That’s a familiar scent around Entertainment Way, particularly when dealing with potentially vulnerable cases such as Lindsay here. Sniff again. You got it? That’s right, folks… that’s one shitty stench, and it smells a little like exploitation.

Good old-fashioned, honest-to-goodness, wallet-in-hand profiteering over a confused teenage girl whose relationship with her father is a cacophony of restraining orders and unspoken malice.

Come on, everybody. Breathe in deep. Get used to that scent, because - if this project takes off - something tells hecklerspray we’ll be smelling it an awful lot more of it. And shit smells shitty…

But there’s a bright side. There usually always is, if you look hard and far enough.

Hopefully, right now, The Prince of Darkness sits in his fiery lair, smug and happy with the twenty-or-so Network Exec souls he’s managed to harvest today.

And - even more hopefully - Lindsay Lohan sits at home, rethinks this whole tawdry affair, phones up whatever TV Station is pitching this and tells them to go fuck themselves. Live the dream and Do It, Lindsay.

Read More Of This Madness Here