Yes, yes, yes, we know. hecklerspray has spent 20 out of the last 24 hours being officially up the freaking spout, but things are looking up. Not directly up, of course – that would be ludicrously optimistic – but we're looking about 120 degrees up, or thereabouts.

As a result of this technical nobsackery, the entire hecklerspray staff have literally cried all the moisture out of their bodies because they couldn't give you the latest pithy celebrity news, and they're being currently being tended to by our work experience girl who – after seeing the 1988 movie Splash Too once on TV six years ago – is under the impression that locking all the writers in a van and covering them with wet blankets will make them all better.

This means that today you'll be getting a sort of hecklerspray lite, but normal service will be resumed once we're back from the cinema we've fixed out all our technical guff and that. Thanks for sticking by us.